Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Six: The Line

Claire tries out for the cheerleading squad. She doesn’t make it, even though she’s, like, so much better than the other girls, just because the mean head cheerleader is totally jealous of her. After a careful examination of Claire’s high school scenes in both this current season and the last, I’ve decided the Heroes writers were raised by wolves and thus have been forced to piece together their collective knowledge of American high schools solely from repeated viewings of She’s All That, Bring It On, and Never Been Kissed. There are many things Heroes does well. A realistic portrayal of high school life is not one of those things.

Mohinder and Monica are at the Company’s facility in upstate New York. More than his genetics know-how, or even his super-special virus-curing magic blood, this is why Mohinder is so valuable to the Company: he’s so gentle and pretty and non-threatening he can sweet-talk cute girls into accompanying him across state lines for the purposes of conducting unspecified medical experiments on them. Bob takes Mohinder aside and orders him to inject Monica with a modified version of the virus that killed his sister: it’s non-lethal, probably, but it will take away her powers.

As is his wont, Mohinder freaks out at this. He calls Bennet, who is still in Ukraine with the Haitian. Bennet is not the man to turn to for moral guidance: he scoffs at the concept of "principles", orders Mohinder to go through with it, tells him not to let him down, and hangs up.

Bennet and the Haitian visit Ivan, Bennet’s old Company mentor, who is played by Peter Parker’s landlord in Spider-Man. Bennet orders Ivan to disclose the location of Isaac Mendez’s final series of eight precognitive paintings, or else the Haitian will use his brain-wiping powers to… remove all of Ivan’s happy memories. Eh. That’s kind of a lame threat, Bennet. You can do better than that.

West and Claire commiserate about how it’s so totally unfair Claire didn’t make the cheerleading squad. They scheme to play a vicious prank on the evil head cheerleader. I’ve changed my mind about West -- he’s a perfect match for Claire, who, here, is every bit as much of a jackass as he is.

Mexico: Maya, Alejandro, and Sylar approach the border. Sylar starts putting the moves on Maya. A flirtatious Sylar is a terrifying thing to behold. Maya thinks Sylar is an angel sent to help them. Alejandro wants to ditch Sylar at the soonest possible opportunity. Alejandro is the smart twin.

So, Ando: Still in Tokyo. Still reading teensy little scrolls. Still thinking fondly of the days when he was an integral part of this series.

Feudal Japan: Hiro’s plotline hasn’t yet become exciting and compelling, but it’s showing small indications of maybe becoming exciting and compelling at some point in the not-too-distant future, which is surely a step in the right direction. Hiro, Yaeko and Kensei make plans to rescue Yaeko’s swordsmith father, captured by bandits way back in episode one.

Ukraine: Ivan won’t surrender the location of the paintings, even as the Haitian wipes away his happy memories. Ivan suggests Bennet rejoin the Company, as it’s the only guaranteed way to keep Claire and his family safe.

Mohinder refuses to inject Monica with the virus. This is not a surprise. He throws a highly ineffectual hissy fit. This, sadly, is also not a surprise. He stamps his pretty foot, tosses his pretty hair, flares his pretty nostrils, hurls a chair into the case containing the virus samples, and tells Bob he’s quitting. Bob manages to keep from giggling in the face of Mohinder’s fury.

Mexico: Sylar and the twins cross into the U.S. through a gap in the border fence. Minutemen ambush them. Sylar tells Maya to use the Black Eye Goo of Death on them. Above Alejandro’s protests, she slaughters their attackers.

West and Claire play a ghastly prank on the mean cheerleader. I have too much contempt for their actions to go into detail, but suffice it to say it’s stupid and dangerous -- both to Claire, who has been expressly warned of the dangers of revealing her powers in public, and to the cheerleader, who doesn’t deserve to be traumatized just for being a bitch. She gets kicked off the squad, Claire replaces her, and everyone’s happy, except for the viewers, who are left dearly hoping Claire gets her comeuppance for this bit of jackassery in a future episode.

Hiro and Kensei rescue Yaeko’s father, who has been forced by the bandits to manufacture guns. So guns have been introduced to feudal Japan far ahead of schedule; Hiro knows this means the timeline is still screwed up. When bandits open fire on them, Hiro teleports himself and Yaeko to safety, thus revealing the nature of his powers to her. Yaeko, rather belatedly, realizes Hiro is responsible for Kensei’s heroic deeds. She confesses her love for him. Hiro frets briefly about the irreparable harm he’s about to do to the space-time continuum, then throws caution to the wind and kisses her. Kensei observes them secretly. Enraged, he allies himself with the bandits, knocks out Hiro, and kidnaps Yaeko and her father.

In present-day Tokyo, Ando reads the final words of the final scroll from Hiro: "It was the kiss that fractured time."

Bob finds Mohinder sitting glumly by Molly’s bedside, having finally realized quitting in a fiery huff doesn’t do his still-comatose ward a lick of good. That’s Mohinder: world-class beauty, world-class scientific brain, and the common sense of a chipmunk. Bob apologizes nicely for trying to force him to compromise his integrity, explaining that he’s been under a lot of pressure to find some way to neutralize special abilities, as the Company is facing a new deadly threat in the form of a man named Adam Monroe. Bob promises to protect Mohinder from any further uncomfortable situations, then pats him on the head and gives him a cookie.

Sylar and Alejandro scuffle. Knowing Alejandro doesn’t understand English, Sylar reveals his plans for the twins: after he gets his powers back, he’s going to kill them both and take their abilities.

Ivan finally tells Bennet the location of the paintings. Bennet shoots Ivan in the head.

Bob escorts Monica safely back to her home in New Orleans. Meanwhile, Mohinder meets his new partner: it’s Niki, though it’s probably actually her super-strong, super-crazy, murder-happy alternate personality Jessica. This is the first time Niki and Mohinder have had a significant scene together, complete with meaningful eye contact and all kinds of crackling tension. Either these two gorgeous kids are going to wind up having crazy animal sex, which will delight half the viewing audience, or Jessica is going to beat him into a pulp, which will delight the other half.

Bennet and the Haitian find the eight paintings. We only get glimpses of them, but, in addition to the one depicting Kaito Nakamura’s murder, there’s one showing the after-effects of Claire’s stupid prank, one of Niki banging her fists angrily against a wall, one of a hand holding a vial, one of Peter standing in front of a biohazard symbol, and one of Kensei and Hiro dueling. Number seven in the series shows Mohinder with a bandaged nose, holding a smoking gun and crying; number eight is the one we've already seen of Bennet lying dead. I’m guessing there’s a certain cause/effect between those last two.

Caitlin and Peter go to the building in Montreal depicted in Peter’s own precognitive painting. Peter finds a mysterious note addressed to him, signed by "Adam", telling him: a) the Company is behind it, and b) the world is in danger. While he puzzles over this, the ability he absorbed from Hiro kicks in automatically, and he and Caitlin teleport to…

…Times Square, New York. It’s deserted and creepy. Peter finds an evacuation notice, dated June 14, 2008.

Cool...

Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Five: Fight or Flight

Molly’s still in a coma, thanks to Matt. Matt wants to stay with her, but Mohinder icily tells him to go find his father. It’s my guess Matt will return from Philadelphia to find the locks to Mohinder’s apartment changed and his belongings piled outside the door. Mohinder scoffs at Matt’s suggestion to take Molly to a hospital, proclaiming, "No hospital is equipped to deal with this." Well… maybe not, but you could give it a shot, right? Just to make sure? I mean, the kid’s in a coma… Mohinder hooks Molly up to an IV and looks after her himself. I know he has his doctorate, but he’s not an MD. I’d really feel better about this if you took her to a hospital, guys.

In the Loneliest Subplot Ever, poor forlorn Ando, stuck by himself in Tokyo, reads more of the ancient scrolls left for him by Hiro.

In feudal Japan, nothing happens with Hiro, Yaeko, and Kensei that we haven’t already seen several times over. This plot will probably become important and relevant and exciting someday. I wish today were that day.

Molly’s condition deteriorates. Mohinder calls Bennet to tell him he’s decided to sell his soul to the Company to save Molly’s life. Bennet suggests taking her to the hospital instead. Mohinder ignores him. It never fails: present Mohinder with a decision, and he’ll invariably pick the most disastrous course of action. Where’s this new, smarter, more competent Mohinder we were promised this season? You can’t see me, but I’m shaking my head sadly right now. I’d say Mohinder has gone over to the Dark Side™, but it’s more like Mohinder got distracted by a shiny object, tripped over his shoelaces, and accidentally fell into the Dark Side™.

Bennet is none too pleased with Mohinder’s decision, but he’s presently too busy faffing about Ukraine with the Haitian to deal with Mohinder’s latest bout of nitwittery. It’s easy to forget how shady Bennet really is. Here, he’s essentially counseling Mohinder to sacrifice Molly for the greater good – a touch ironic in the face of all the harm Bennet has done to keep Claire safe. In fairness to Mohinder, turning to the Company for help might be the best of a bunch of bad options, if it keeps Molly alive. Still, Mohinder being Mohinder, this is bound to turn out about as well as his decision to give Sylar an unscheduled spinal tap last season.

At the Company medical facility, Bob gives Mohinder a taser and instructs him to retrieve another super-powered person. For crying out loud, Bob, don’t arm him. Just then, Niki-as-Jessica breaks out of a room and goes on a rampage, shoving Mohinder and throttling Bob until Mohinder tasers her unconscious. Later, Mohinder secretly tries to help a restrained Niki break free, but, now that the meek Niki personality is back in control, she wants to stay – the Company is the only place that can teach her to keep her murderous split personality in check.

Matt goes to Philadelphia to track down his father. For no real reason, he takes Nathan along for the ride. This is something Heroes does better than any other show: unlikely buddy pairings. Mohinder and Sylar, Nathan and Hiro, Mr. Bennet and Mohinder… now we can add Nathan and Matt to the mix of unexpectedly fabulous duos. Nathan scoops up an unprecedented second consecutive Big Pile of Awesomeness award for the savoir-faire he shows here. When did Adrian Pasdar transition from a good actor doing solid work to a scene-stealing bundle of personality? At one point he totes around a shotgun, and he’s just a chainsaw-hand away from becoming Bruce Campbell.

Matt’s father is a dark future version of Matt. He’s a criminal and a con man, both sort of pathetic and sort of evil, physically unprepossessing and morally weak. He’s a telepath like Matt, though his powers have mutated into something darker. He trapped Molly in a nightmare because he didn’t want anyone to be able to find him. He claims he’s been targeted by Kaito Nakamura’s killer and shows them a photo of himself with the scrawled half-helix mark to prove it. He discloses a little information about the founding members of the Company shown in the group photo (twelve super-powered individuals who banded together thirty years ago with the intention of using their abilities for good), then traps Matt and Nathan into nightmarish visions while he escapes. Matt finds himself in a prison cell where he’s confronted by Janice, who reveals that, despite his claims to the contrary, he’s the true father of her baby. She claims he knew this and abandoned her anyway. It’s open to interpretation, but this sounds like the truth.

Nathan, meanwhile, finds himself overlooking a burned and ruined Manhattan skyline, having apparently failed to prevent Peter from blowing up New York. A hideously burned and mutilated version of himself attacks him. Nathan fights himself, though it turns out he’s actually beating the hell out of Matt, who uses his ability to break the illusion. In a search of the apartment, Matt and Nathan find a photo of Mohinder’s employer Bob with the half-helix mark scrawled over his face.

Monica discloses the secret of her new-found ability to Micah, who likewise reveals his ability to her. They gleefully set out to test the limits of Monica’s powers. After an exhausting day of super-powered jump-roping, piano playing, tomato carving, and Bruce Lee movie-viewing, Monica is startled by a late-night knock on the door. It’s Mohinder, sent to bring her in to the Company for observation.

Veronica Mars blows into Cork looking for Peter. Oh, sure, Kristen Bell’s going by a different name here, but she’s still Veronica at heart. Only this time she’s evil. And can shoot blue lightning bolts from her hands. Other than that, there’s no difference. When the leader of Peter’s gang gives her the runaround, she fries him. Before she can go after Peter, she gets a call from someone she identifies as "Daddy", who orders her to abandon her mission and return home. Peter, shacked up with his new girlfriend Caitlin, finally (finally!) opens the damn box with the clues to his identity. It contains Peter’s passport, a photo of Nathan, and a plane ticket to Montreal. Peter channels Isaac’s ability and paints a precognitive image of himself and Caitlin in Montreal.

Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Four: The Kindness of Strangers

A strange yet satisfying episode of Heroes this week. No Peter, no Hiro, and you know what? Much as I love them both, I'm okay with that. And wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles – the Maya/Alejandro plotline gets interesting in a hurry when they, along with Derek, the American they picked up at the jail last episode, stop to help a man passed out in the middle of the road… who turns out to be Sylar. Is there nothing the addition of a brain-eating serial killer can't improve?

In Costa Verde, Mr. Bennet quietly freaks out about the painting of Claire embracing a stranger next to his bullet-riddled corpse. He gets all overprotective and paranoid and forbids Claire from dating. Claire ignores him and sneaks around with West. I shall write nothing further about this plotline until such time as odious, pompous West is unmasked as a villain. This will happen in due course, I'm pretty sure. The writers can't possibly intend for us to accept this overbearing, bullying twit as a legitimate good guy/romantic interest, right? They have more respect for their audience than that, I'm sure of it. Right, guys? Right?

Katrina-ravaged New Orleans: Micah stays with his great-aunt Nichelle Nichols and his cousin Monica. Not that this show needs any more major characters right now, but Monica's a cutie: upbeat, cheerful, and totally oblivious to the way her life kinda sucks. Monica, who works double shifts at a burger joint to make ends meet after her mother's hurricane-related death, has the ability to replicate any motion she sees (both examples shown in this episode – carving a rose out of a tomato and, somewhat more usefully, kicking the crap out of an armed robber – are based on actions she observes on television, so it's possible her powers are limited by that).

Nathan visits his two small sons, who convince him to shave off the muskrat glued to his chin. You may be forgiven for not remembering Nathan has sons, as they haven't been seen or mentioned in too many episodes to count. Normally I get cranky when children are used as rarely-seen props on television shows, but Nathan's exactly the sort of guy who would have a couple of well-groomed kid-props whom he trots out whenever it strikes his fancy, then otherwise ignores.

Angela Petrelli, hospitalized after the mysterious attack at the police station, confesses to the murder of Kaito Nakamura. When Matt, suspecting a lie, reads her thoughts, she mentally urges him to let the matter drop. Nathan, now clean-shaven and sporting a flattering new hairdo, consults with Matt about his mother's arrest. Nathan offers to show Matt the group photo from which the mutilated pictures received by Kaito Nakamura and Angela Petrelli prior to Kaito's death were taken. Nathan wins this episode's Big Pile of Awesomeness award for his fabulously nuanced reaction – stymied and uncomfortable, yet somehow easygoing and polite – when Matt, without provocation, starts unloading on Nathan about how his telepathy ruined his life and his wife got pregnant with another man's baby. Nathan shows Matt a photo of twelve people at a Petrelli family gathering: his late father, Angela, Linderman, Charles Deveaux, Kaito Nakamura, Mohinder's boss Bob from the Company, and a bunch of strangers. Matt identifies one of the strangers as his own long-missing father.

In Mexico, Maya babbles excitedly to Sylar about how she and Alejandro are headed for New York to meet Chandra Suresh so he can help them control their abilities. Sylar mentions that he's an old friend of Chandra's and he'd be delighted to accompany them, leaving out the part about how he broke Chandra's neck. At a rest stop, Sylar quietly murders dead-weight Derek and heads for the border with the oblivious twins in tow.

Matt discusses his absent father with Molly and Mohinder, who looks like India's Next Top Model in a cornflower-blue shirt. Hats off to the wardrobe department for their rigorous and ongoing attempts to discover exactly which color looks most flattering on Sendhil Ramamurthy. (Answer: All of them.) I know I tend to go on about Mohinder's beauty, but here's the thing: there are many beautiful people in the world, quite a few of whom have found employment on this show. And then there are those precious few whose beauty, if properly harnessed, could either bring peace and comfort to a weary world, or cause mass rioting and the downfall of civilizations. Such is Mohinder.

(The above paragraph may be summarized thusly: Mohinder looks good in cornflower.)

Matt wants Molly to use her people-finding ability to locate his father. Molly looks at the photo and shrieks in terror: Matt's father is the man who haunts her recurring nightmares – the man with the power to see her whenever she thinks about him. Despite Molly's protests, Matt decides to be a dick and asks her to find him anyway. Ever notice how the Dark Side™ is strong with Matt? He stole the diamonds last season, he used his telepathy to cheat on his detective's exam, and now he's jeopardizing a kid for his own purposes. Sure, he's still a few leaps away from becoming the Hiro-torturing, Bennet-murdering creep glimpsed in last season's Evil Alternate Future episode, but he's clearly on the path to evil.

Peeved at Matt's request, Mohinder calls Matt out on his abandonment issues. Matt foolishly questions Mohinder's expertise in the area of daddy issues, whereupon Mohinder points out that his own daddy issues were the bedrock of his character arc last season and, indeed, the launching point of the entire series. Nonetheless, above Mohinder's objections, Molly agrees to swallow her fears and locate Matt's dad. She uses her ability to track him down to an apartment in Philadelphia… and then falls into a coma.

Nice going, Matt.

Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Three: Kindred

Hey, look, Sylar’s back! Still recovering from his injuries, Sylar shows up in the care of the illusionist Candice (now a red-haired bombshell instead of a petite brunette) in a grimy shed in the middle of nowhere. Candice, who is most likely still working for the Company, uses her powers to transform the setting into a tropical paradise.

Three episodes into the new season, it's probably time to check in with Niki and Micah, huh? They're leaving Las Vegas after paying one final visit to D.L.'s grave. Yeah, D.L.'s dead, presumably from getting shot by Linderman last season. Niki takes Micah to New Orleans and leaves him with D.L.’s aunt (a luminous Nichelle Nichols, who's been visiting the same fountain of youth as George Takei).

In Cork, the iPod bandits step up their game and steal the proceeds of a sports book with Peter's help; it's like an episode of Spooks, only with superpowers. Impressed by Peter's moxie, to say nothing of his ability to telekinetically toss around armored trucks, they welcome him into their gang and offer him the box containing the clues to his real identity. For no reason other than to vex and confound the viewing audience, Peter opts not to look inside it, choosing instead to stay with his new mates and start a romance with Caitlin, the head thug's feisty sister.

Mexico: Alejandro gets arrested for stealing a car. Maya slaughters everyone at the police station with her black eye-goo power and breaks him out of jail. They team up with some American kid and take off in his car, a Nissan with a conspicuous bumper sticker from Claire's high school. Most likely this is the car that was stolen from Claire last week (forgot to mention: Claire got her car stolen last week), though perhaps not – there’s a mysterious abundance of Nissans on this show.

Ando, back at his desk job in Tokyo, finds a series of tiny scrolls hidden in the shaft of Takezo Kensei's samurai sword, which Hiro left with him in last season's finale. The scrolls are chatty ancient letters to Ando from Hiro detailing his adventures with Kensei in the past. Hiro, back in feudal Japan, helps Kensei shape up and become the stuff of legend. Aided by his new-found regenerative ability, Kensei defeats the fabulously-named Ninety Angry Ronins and wins the heart of beautiful Yaeko. Hiro secretly pines for Yaeko as well; even though history now seems to be on the correct course, he opts to remain behind in the past for a while longer.

Home from his mission to Haiti, Mohinder creeps around his dark apartment, fixes himself a relaxing cup of tea, and almost gets riddled with bullets by his trigger-happy roommate (Mohinder's reaction – a weary "Oh, for God's sake" – suggests this sort of thing has been happening to him a lot lately). Matt, with a few digs at Mohinder's history of incompetence, expresses concern that Mohinder is in over his pretty little head with his scheme to destroy the Company from within. Matt is probably 100% right about this.

Bob from the Company sets Mohinder up in a snazzy new laboratory built in Isaac Mendez's former loft. Mohinder, still two steps behind the viewing audience, is shocked to hear of Isaac’s murder by Sylar four months ago; Mohinder, pumpkin, you’re lucky I find your cluelessness kind of adorable. Bob cheerfully informs Mohinder that, as he's very valuable to the Company, the Company will be keeping a closer eye on him from now on. This might indicate Bob knows Mohinder is out to double-cross the Company, though it's equally possible he just doesn’t trust him around expensive lab equipment without adult supervision. You know how I mentioned last week that Mohinder was growing more competent this season? I might need to retract that. Jury’s still out, but he’s not exactly a paragon of steely resourcefulness in this episode.

Let's check in with Sylar: he's discovered he's lost all his hard-earned powers. This makes him grumpy. Candice tries to console him by promising to help get his abilities back after he's fully recovered. In the meantime, she suggests ways to make his recuperation more pleasant: She transforms herself into a variety of potential sex partners – a geisha, busty blonde twins, even (ahem) Sylar himself. Sylar, who is not the kind of man who has any earthly use for busty blonde twins, kills Candice instead and steals her brain, only to find he can't access her power.

Costa Verde: West sweet-talks Claire by threatening to expose her secret, making her cry, and telling her to shut up. In an ideal world, Sylar will be snacking on this kid's brain before the holiday break. West demonstrates his flying ability to Claire and takes her on an impromptu flight up the coast. This makes her overlook his crummy personality and swoon over him. West has marks on his shoulder which identify him as a recipient of one of the Company's tracking devices; he reveals to Claire that he got it after he was kidnapped by a man wearing horn-rimmed glasses…

In the lab, Bob leaves Mohinder unchaperoned for a minute while he fields a call from Niki, who wants the Company to "cure" her – whether that means she has the virus or just wants to be rid of her abilities is still up in the air. At Mr. Bennet's urging, and not without a fair amount of dithering, Mohinder searches the loft for a final series of eight precognitive paintings Isaac made before his death. The first in the series depicts Kaito Nakamura's death; Mohinder finds the last painting… which features Bennet lying dead, a bullet through the lens of his horn-rimmed glasses, while Claire embraces a shadowy figure nearby. Mohinder sends a photo of the painting to Bennet, who looks suitably bummed at this evidence of his looming demise…

Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Two: Lizards

Cork, Ireland: Peter gets interrogated by the Irish iPod bandits. He still can’t remember anything, though he still has the full spectrum of his powers. The thugs want Peter to help them with some kind of heist – in return, they’ll give him a box containing everything they found on him in the shipping crate, which might give him some clues to his identity. The teaser for next week’s episode is really playing up this "What’s in the box?" angle, but come on: this is sweet, dippy Peter we’re talking about. Five bucks says the box contains nothing more exciting than his Metro pass, a Dunkin’ Donuts punch card, and the condom he’s been carrying around since 1998.

I miss Peter’s bangs.

In Japan, anxious to restore history to its proper path, Hiro impersonates Takezo Kensai, defeats a horde of bandits with the aid of his powers, and woos beautiful Yaeko, the swordsmith’s daughter, whom Kensai is destined to take as his princess. Kensai, still drunk and disgraceful, gets riddled with arrows by bandits. However, Kensai, like Claire, can regenerate – as Hiro gapes, Kensai comes back to life.

New York: newly-minted detective Matt brings Angela Petrelli in for questioning about Kaito Nakamura’s murder. When he tries to read her mind, she mentally yells at him to get out of her head. Nathan (still bearded, though possibly less drunk) arrives to bail his mom out and has an awkward reunion with Matt, of the "We previously met when you were bailing your now-dead brother out of jail for possibly murdering that cheerleader in Texas, remember?" variety. When Angela gets attacked by some kind of formless entity, Nathan and Matt rescue her.

Maya and Alejandro make it through Guatemala to the Mexican border. We see a little more of their powers: Maya can, um, make black goo seep from everyone’s eyes? Something like that? And Alejandro can… make the black goo go away? Yeah, they’re not being terribly specific just yet. The twins are cute, but their plotline hasn’t advanced enough to justify the great chunk of time devoted to it thus far.

In Port-au-Prince, Mohinder wears a blindingly white shirt and looks more beautiful than any undercover geneticist has any right to look. He also speaks French, which knocks his sex appeal right into the stratosphere, thank you very much. Mohinder is assigned by the Company to track down the Haitian, who is suspected of carrying the same virus that infected Molly Walker and Shanti Suresh. Since prior to this new occurrence there have only been two documented cases of this virus, spaced thirty-three years apart, should we really keep referring to it as a "plague"? Really? We’re okay with that? You sure? Mohinder finds the Haitian and cures him with his own super-special-miracle blood. When he discloses to the Haitian that he’s working for the Company, the Haitian advances on him… and Bob, Mohinder’s Company contact, finds Mohinder several hours later, his mind apparently wiped, staring blankly into space and claiming to have no recollection of finding or treating the Haitian.

Costa Verde, California: Mr. Bennet, working the late shift at his dismal copy shop job, calls Mohinder, who tells him the mission was a success: Bob was fooled by his claims to remember nothing. I highly approve of this new, sneaky, globe-trotting, less-incompetent version of Mohinder. Pat yourselves on the back, writing staff. The Haitian shows up at the copy shop and has a nice reunion with his former partner.

After suffering through the world’s dumbest lecture on genetics in her biology class (a scathing indictment of the state of California’s public schools, or just sloppy writing? You decide), Claire tests the limits of her powers by snipping off her littlest toe with a pair of scissors. Oh, Claire. That’s so dumb it’s almost endearing. Your motivations are still baffling, but you might be starting to grow on me. Fortunately, Claire’s toe regenerates. Less fortunately, neighborhood stalker West peers through the window and views Claire’s makeshift amputation…

Heroes Volume Two, Chapter One: Four Months Later

We open in Cairo with Mohinder giving one of his standard-issue nonsensical lectures while a few bored attendees stare at the beautiful nutjob yammering on about levitation and teleportation. Post-lecture, Mohinder is wined and dined by a representative of the evil Company (Stephen Tobolowsky), who can turn objects into gold with his touch.

Hiro teleports to seventeenth-century Japan, where he finds himself in the middle of: a) an eclipse, and b) a frenzy of flying arrows. He stops time and rescues his samurai hero, Takezo Kensai, who turns out to be a drunken, ignoble English fraud (David Anders). By muddling in affairs, Hiro wreaks havoc with the timeline and alters history.

We’re introduced to two new Heroes, Honduran Wondertwins Maya and Alejandro, who are on the run. Their special abilities aren’t yet revealed, but Maya uses hers to somehow (and possibly accidentally) slaughter a truckload of fellow refugees.

Back in New York, Kaito Nakamura (George Takei) and Ando wait at Kirby Plaza for the return of Hiro. Kaito finds a photo of himself with his face obscured by the omnipresent half-helix symbol. He predicts he’ll be dead within twenty-four hours.

Nathan, bearded and drunk, argues with Angela Petrelli in Peter’s apartment. Peter has not been seen since he exploded over New York; it’s not yet explained how Nathan survived the blast. Angela blames Nathan for Peter’s death; Nathan calls Angela evil. This can’t possibly be the first time he’s figured that out. Angela finds her photo on the door of Peter’s apartment, the helix sign over her face.

Angela and Kaito Nakamura meet and argue on the roof of the Deveaux building. After Angela storms off, a hooded figure lunges at Kaito and knocks him over the side. They plummet to the ground together, but there’s only one corpse at the bottom: Kaito’s.

Matt, fully recovered from getting riddled with bullets by Sylar, has joined the NYPD. Now divorced, he’s living in Mohinder’s apartment, where they’re both raising and protecting creepy little Molly Walker. Some thoughts on this:

1. The rampant online speculation about this cozy domestic situation is wishful thinking: Matt’s very cute, but he’s just not in Mohinder’s league. You know how last season Eden kept batting her eyes at Mohinder, and then he went back to India where his smoking-hot ex-girlfriend kept fruitlessly aiming for a reconciliation? If neither of those beauties could melt Mohinder’s glacial heart, Matt doesn’t stand a chance.

2. Setting aside that Mohinder couldn’t successfully care for a lizard last season, is Mohinder’s apartment really the best place to raise a child, especially one in active need of protection? The place has been well established as a death trap: it’s been ransacked and bugged, and people have been attacked, threatened, poisoned, tortured, beaten, and killed in it. And there’s every chance Mohinder stores curare in the pantry right next to the tea bags.

3. Nothing screams "potential for sexy and dangerous plot developments" more than looking after a small child!

In California, the Bennet family has relocated under a new name to hide from the Company. Claire, trying to keep a low profile in her new school, nonetheless attracts the attention of creepy, condescending, bullying schoolmate West. (Digression: You remember the introduction to Hayden Christensen as Anakin in Attack of the Clones, where he’s stalking Padme and making inappropriate comments about watching her sleep, and it’s okay in that context because we know he’s going to turn out to be Darth Vader and thus should not be viewed as a traditional romantic leading man? If West doesn’t turn out to be evil, I’m going to have words with the writing staff about this character introduction, because this kid comes across as several miles of bad road.) Oh, yeah – West can fly, an ability he demonstrates by hovering outside Claire’s bedroom window and spying on her. It’s fair to say I loathe this kid. Meanwhile, Mr. Bennet, now working a low-level job at a copy shop, fails to fly under the radar himself when he attacks and intimidates his wretch of a supervisor.

The collective Bennets gather for a fabulously odd and strained family dinner. Now that they’re in hiding, they’ve become all Gothic and bizarre and about eight million times more interesting than they were during last season’s suburban tedium. Bennet gets a phone call from his new conspirator Mohinder – Mohinder, it turns out, has offered himself up as very fetching bait to the Company as part of a grand scheme to destroy it from within. This is a pretty awesome development, although:

1. It’s not clear why Mohinder had to go to Cairo to set his plan in motion, considering how last season someone from the Company would drop by his apartment every other episode to try to recruit and/or threaten him. Perhaps he just needed a vacation from the cop and the small child who have invaded his personal space.

2. I give it two episodes before Mohinder screws this up somehow.

Cork, Ireland: Peter Petrelli, minus his shirt, his bangs, and his memory, turns up chained inside a shipping crate, where he’s discovered by a band of Irish iPod thieves.

Aaaaand we’re off to a good start.