NBC has come up with a snazzy press release about the upcoming Volume Five of Heroes. Like all good press releases, it does a nice job of drumming up interest in the coming season: it provides neat tidbits of information about each character's plotline and gives some indication of the general thrust of the volume. It sounds pretty good. However, snazzy press release or no, at this point it’s reeeeeeeeally hard to summon up too much enthusiasm for Heroes. We’ve been down this path too many times, and been disappointed too many times, and thus this press release seems a little… disingenuous. So I drafted my own version.NBC’s version of the release can be found here. Mine is below. Warning for vague, press release-style spoilers:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Following an unsatisfying third season, which hemorrhaged viewers in all directions thanks to a mixture of slipshod plotting and wildly inconsistent characterization, “Heroes” returns to NBC on September 21. “Volume Five: Redemption” is destined to recapture the excitement and magic of the critically-acclaimed first season. Sound familiar? That’s because we said the same thing last year. But this time we mean it.
In the climax of “Volume Four: Fugitives”, Senator Nathan Petrelli (Adrian Pasdar) was murdered by Sylar (Zachary Quinto). No one could be bothered to use Claire Bennet’s (Hayden Panettiere) Magic Blood™ to resurrect him, so Angela Petrelli (Cristine Rose) and H.R.G. (Jack Coleman) badgered Matt Parkman (Greg Grunberg) into using his mental powers to trick Sylar into believing he was Nathan, thus confounding and alienating both Pasdar’s and Quinto’s respective fan bases in one fell swoop.
“Volume Five: Redemption” begins with an attempt to clean up and/or ignore the messes and muddles left over from last season.
Claire tries to adjust to a normal life as an ordinary college student. This is difficult for her, because Claire is so very, very special. So special that random characters often randomly point out how special she is, just to make certain the breadth and depth of her specialness is not lost on viewers. Like all college freshmen, Claire will indulge in a little hot girl-on-girl action with her roommate. This will not be sensationalistic at all, and quite frankly we don’t understand why everyone’s making such a big deal about it. Just because we included the scene in the teaser we showed at Comic Con is no reason to think we threw it in there just to boost the ratings. Grow up, people.
Hiro Nakamura (Masi Oka) discovers he has a terminal illness. This laugh-a-minute plotline will resolve itself one way or another by the end of the season, when Oka finally decides whether the benefits of starring in a hit network series outweigh the indignities involved in participating in episodes like that ghastly Indian wedding business. Ando Masahashi (James Kyson Lee) will probably be on hand as well, but his participation is too inconsequential to mention in this press release.
Peter Petrelli (Milo Ventimiglia) will fall madly in love with a beautiful deaf girl, in a sweeping romance destined to be every bit as beloved by audiences as such past sweeping romances as Hiro and Yaeko, Mohinder and Maya, Peter and Caitlin, and Claire and that wretched flying kid.
H.R.G., whose wife should have ditched him three seasons ago after he gave her life-threatening brain damage by repeatedly having her memories wiped against her will, adjusts to bachelor life by arguing with Claire about how he just wants to protect her and ignoring the existence of his son.
Mohinder Suresh (Sendhil Ramamurthy) will be largely MIA for the first few episodes, because we still can’t think of anything to do with him. Once he reappears, he’ll resume his standard role -- frowning prettily at computer screens, spouting exposition, and getting knocked unconscious by miscreants. As a special “Suck eggs, losers!” to those viewers who have pretty much given up on “Heroes” but nonetheless keep watching for their weekly dose of Mohinder’s phenomenal bone structure, the entire lower half of his face will be obscured by a thick, unflattering beard.
Tracy Strauss (Ali Larter), improbably alive after shattering into pieces last volume, is torn between seeking vengeance and using her powers for the greater good. She’ll vacillate between good and evil from episode to episode, depending upon who’s writing the script, until her character becomes incomprehensible and baffling. At this point we’ll kill off Tracy -- just like we killed off Nikki! -- and bring Larter back next season as a totally different character.
Nathan Petrelli, who has no idea he’s actually Sylar, returns to the Senate, where his reputation as the Senator who resigned, then was shot by an unidentified assailant during a live press conference, then died on the operating table, then mysteriously came back to life, then found God, then rounded up and imprisoned people with special abilities will once again pass unremarked and unchallenged.
In Los Angeles, after a couple seasons of swinging bachelorhood, Matt Parkman will re-enter the loveless and naggy marriage everyone enjoyed so much back in Volume One. As an added bonus, he’ll be raising a super-powered baby! Super-powered babies are an awesome plot device. It’s a proven fact.
We’ve got a great bunch of new cool-sounding villains, including the dude from “Prison Break” and some hot naked tattooed chick. In a major casting coup, we’ve even got incredibly cool cult fave Ray Park, whose appearance we will no doubt somehow manage to squander, much in the way we squandered incredibly cool guest stars John Glover and Robert Forster and those guys from “The Wire” last volume.
The epic journey begins once again, and along the path, some questions will be answered: Do we realistically have a chance of recapturing some of the audience bonhomie we lost last season? Will viewers notice (or care!) that our percentage of non-white regular characters has dropped from 55% at the start of Volume One to 25% at the start of Volume Five, thus effectively negating all the acclaim we used to garner for our diverse cast? Will anyone who isn’t Sylar or who doesn’t have a last name of Bennet or Petrelli ever be given anything vital to do? Time will tell.
“Heroes” used to get nominated for a lot of prestigious awards, like Emmys and BAFTAs and NAACP Image Awards and Multicultural Prism Awards. This year, we received a Teen Choice Award for Choice Action-Adventure Television Show, and damn it, we’re pretty stoked about it.
Comments
Loved the bold-face, BTW...
"LOL!"
I don't want to read the original release. This one is already obviously ten gazillion times better.
You forgot to include a snark at the short-and-shorter list of producers, though. XD
Such as:
Heroes is produced by Tim Kring, Dennis Hammer, and some other people. Acclaimed comic book writer Jeph Loeb was fired last season as a scapegoat, along with Jesse Alexander, who was promptly allowed to create his own show, starting on NBC next spring. Also fired was fan favourite Greg Beeman, Allen Arkush, and in the writing room Chris Zatta, who wrote the popular Season 1 episode "Parasite", and supposedly Chuck Kim, Heroes' first and only writer of colour [not sure about that, but I heard it somewhere]. Bryan Fuller, who briefly rejoined Heroes at the end of Season 3, has left *for the second time*, but that is totally not due to creative differences, despite rumours to the contrary.
Heroes really should hang on to the enthusiastic people. Uhm... I guess they are hanging on to Greg Grunberg, but I'm not sure who else is still truly and fully enthusiastic. There was a lot more gushing and general happiness during the first two seasons. I'm no longer getting the impression that it's a good working environment. That's so sad. This show had it all. Critical acclaim, a huge fanbase, and a cast and crew that loved their jobs. How'd they manage to ruin this?
All things considered, I wish they had let him die with dignity in the Season 1 finale.
(It makes me sad to look at photos of Dana Davis supporting the Heroes' writers - who thanked her by writing her character off, haha.)
Clearly there's no one in the writers' room saying, "Okay, if we do this plot idea, does it make sense for Nathan/Mohinder/whoever to behave this way?" Because Nathan's plotline was inexplicable and inexcusable, and many of the other plotlines weren't much better (speaking of Peter injecting myself... I'm still cheesed off at that business of Peter forcibly stopping Mohinder from curing himself with the fixed serum, on the general moral principle of "giving yourself powers is bad!"... and then minutes later using the serum on himself to get Nathan and himself out of the burning building. Huh?).
Poor Dana Davis. A talented actress who was very supportive of the show, a well-received character... gone and forgotten.
The guy who played the German, Ken Lally, said at one point that there had been plans to get more into his character's backstory, revealing, apparantly, that he and Niki/Tracy/Barbara were siblings, and their creator Dr. Zimmermann used to be a Nazi. This Nazi super soldier clone backstory was dropped when Jeph Loeb left, even though they had already done some work on it. The whole idea that an ongoing storyline (!) gets dropped after one of the producers really screams to me that there's infighting and every writer tried to push his own favourite storyline, etc. Hence all the back and forth, inconsistent characterizations, Sylar is a Petrelli, no he's not. There's NO sense of direction about that show.
I miss Monica and I'll never get over the wasted opportunities, but at least Dana is doing fine now, and that makes me happy. She was originally intended to be a recurring character on "10 Things I Hate About You", but was upgraded to series regular because the showrunner was so impressed with her! It sounds like a much better deal than what she had on Heroes.
I wish the creative staff understood/respected the value of consistency. It's far, far better to wholly commit to a plot, even if you're not entirely sold on it at the outset, and to work actively to make it stronger and better, than to abandon it halfway through without explanation.
(I mean, obviously, the ideal situation would be to have a plot idea that everyone on the writing staff loves and is enthusiastic about, but when you stick a bunch of creative people in a room together, you're probably not going to ever have a total consensus. So you do what's best for the show, and you compromise.)
(I'm preaching to the choir, I know, and I'm repeating myself. Apologies. I used to be a whole lot more forgiving of Heroes' various flaws, but somewhere along the line, a switch flipped over in my brain and the sloppiness of the writing started to get under my skin. I should just move on and find another show, but... Mohinder is really pretty.)
I hope you're a showrunner one day! D: Especially if you include a role tailored for Sendhil.
I don't understand how storylines that are planned suddenly get dropped because of a simple kink that could be worked around. Besides the German storyline, in season 2 there was supposed to be a Sylar/Candace Bonnie and Clyde type thing but when Missy was hired for "Reaper" the storyline was changed. Why? Candace was an illusionist so anyone could have played her...Then again, seeing what the show did with Sylar/Elle, Sylar/Candace may have been a crapfest as well.
The lack of Mohinder is definitely going to help ween me off this show. I'd love to see Sendhil move onto something else where he can be put to good use and excell. On a slightly related note, I'm enjoying Dana on "10 Things I Hate About You", a show I expected to hate.
Oh, yeah. No Mohinder = no Morgan. That's a pretty simple equation.
The problem, and you've noted it, is that they don't see that they've done anything wrong. And if they don't see that then there's no reason for them to fix it which means the problems will only get worse.
Added insult to injury, I heard that at a "Star Trek" panel in London (?), Quinto commented that he didn't like the direction Sylar went in during season 2 but thought that season 3 got back on track and was much better.
Personally I'd like Sendhil to pull him aside and hit him over the head.
I do like that the cast members are publically very loyal and supportive of the show and each other. I think it speaks well of all of them, that they're not trash-talking the show that put them on the map. At the same time, I'm sure there are some really interesting behind-the-scenes stories they could tell, if they weren't all so darn tactful and discreet.
(Let's take Sendhil out and get him drunk! I bet he gets really chatty!)
Many of us are hoping that Zach was referring to Volume 4 specifically and not season 3 as a whole...because we all know Volume 3 was absolutely terrible and embarrassing. Volume 4 felt like some things were getting back on track or that the characters were at least more recognizable. My fingers are crossed that that's what Zach is thinking of. If he's referring to the crapfest that was the episode "Villains" as being a great reveal of Sylar's character I'm going to have to kick his ass.
I still think we should take Sendhil out and get him drunk, just for kicks.
I agree about Quinto normally being more reserved in interviews so you're not always quite sure what he's thinking about something. Sendhil's a little more open about it.
"How can we make this character more serious and tortured?"
"Cover up his pretty face? Pretty people aren't serious or tortured, they're carefree and jolly, like Petrelli."
I don't know what they have against the idea of just letting Sendhil show his beautiful, undamaged face. Drives me crazy.
First:
"... But then he talked about how much he loved his Heroes family, and it was completely endearing. The actor also mentioned that he loved the direction in which his character, Sylar, was going for season 4. Talking of Heroes still, he said that he did not like the fact that they killed Elle on the show and that he did not understand why the writers introduced Sylar’s son in I am Become Death if they’re not going to pursue this. Though he is contracted for 3 more seasons [...], Zachary shared with us his uncertainty as to whether or not the show will go on past season 4 [...]. For him, it is still unknown."
source:http://insidetrekker.blogspot.com/2009/08/meet-and-greet-with-zachary-quinto.html
and second:
"Regarding Heroes, Quinto said didn’t like where his character of Sylar went in the 2nd season, but felt the writers found his roots again in the third and he likes the new direction for the character in the upcoming fourth season, which is currently shooting. As for his future, Quinto says he expects Heroes to be his last TV series for a while..."
(this second was reported by a countless number of fangirls present at the STcon in las vegas so he actually talked about s2)
source: http://trekmovie.com/2009/08/12/vegascon09-finale-three-spocks-and-a-shatner/
Morgan and I both thought that Quinto might not be long for Heroes, after watching him slam dunk the role of Spock in Star Trek this summer.
Barring a drastic uptick in quality, I can't imagine Heroes going beyond a fourth season. It'd be great if they could break the freefall, but I don't see that happening.
I have no hope for the show and I believe this will the last seasons: is the only reason I'll still watch it, after the awful vol4 (I'm one of those who actually liked the first part of vol3 and disliked the rest of s4 - I disagree that it improved, he get worst with each episode till the awful nonsensical finale...)
And not soon enough. I'm one of those people who hated volume 3 (and I tried to like it until I couldn't lie to myself anymore), didn't mind volume 4 (though I do agree that Sylar and Quintos portrayal of him got worse as the volume went on) and tried to put a positive spin on the finale...until I read some spoilers for volume 5 and threw in the towel.
My mission for the new season is to see if I can spot Mohinder in some "Where's Waldo" mission in the middle of a crowd and to see what illogical storyline choices will be followed when much easier and intelligent ones would apply.
(Also possibly related: during Volume Three, Ingrid's and my mom was still alive, and thus the world was a better place.)
Hell, Volume Four was enough of a "Where's Waldo?" with Mohinder (there's that one episode where Ingrid swore he wasn't in it at all, until I spotted the top of his curly head peeking over HRG's shoulder when Matt, Peter, and Mo drugged HRG in the bar). I'm not looking forward to another volume of the same.
Volume 4 started of well and had lots of ups and downs (more ups in my opinion) and by the end of it I was sick of a whole ton of characters but still hopeful for what could be...and then as the months went by and it all started to settle I realized it wasn't going to get better. That the badness will still be there come next season. Seeing the promo for season 4 at Comic Con didn't help.
Add in the fact that Mohinder seems almost completely MIA from upcoming storylines and a part of me wants to wash my hands of the whole thing.
It makes me glum that there's not one element I can honestly say I'm excited about. And the lack of word on Mohinder is a huge drawback.
Yeah right.
I just feel like I've lost faith in the writers. It's like they're sitting in a room throwing darts at the wall and wherever it lands (characters, implausible story lines) they go with it.
Oh, sure. I've maintained from the beginning that Mohinder's actions are determined by the writers drawing slips of paper out of a big special jar they keep in the writers' room: Adopts Small Child. Shoot HRG in Eyeball. Turn Self Into Crazy Bug-Man. Kind of a shame how they drew the Gets Knocked Unconscious slip out of the jar five consecutive times last volume, but that's how it works.
(It was a good day when they drew Shows Up On Sylar's Doorstep out of the jar back in Volume One. I keep hoping that slip will come up again.)