First things first: Why the photos of the grimy innards of my cheap wristwatch, you ask? Because I’ve started writing articles full-time, and the first one I sold was a piece on changing watch batteries. And I liked my photos.In other news: After a yearlong hiatus (something about the recent seasons of Smallville being: a) Luthor-free, and b) soul-killingly awful), Dan Liebke has once again started up the Smallville Files, his bizarre and hilarious episode recaps, over at Astonishing Tales. This is reason for much celebrating.
Speaking of things that are soul-killingly awful, fresh episodes of Heroes start airing on NBC on September 21st (new time slot! Check your local listings!). I’ll continue the recaps unless/until the show manages to break my spirit for good. I’m also looking to add another couple of shows to the recapping roster: Flash Forward, maybe? Does anything look good and/or endearingly terrible?
A look at the keywords used to find this site in August:
"haven't you heard? i'm the defensive player of the year."
Worst Heroes line ever. And there’s some daunting competition in that arena. Fun contest: Submit your least-favorite Heroes line in the comments below. Best (i.e. worst) submission wins praise and admiration.
mohinder hair cookiesAh, the legend of Mookies, the cookies that smell like Mohinder's hair, continues! For the record, three different people used this search term to find this site last month.
"time travel" "kiss herself"
Hemingway once claimed he could write a story in six words: “Baby shoes for sale. Never worn.” I think his record just got beaten.
are volume three and four of heroes going to sell together
Yeah. It’s out on DVD today. That would have been wildly greedy of NBC Universal to sell them separately.
chris evans banana up my ass
Ah, yes. Not Another Teen Movie. Some of Evans’s finest work. (You know that scene in Varsity Blues with Ali Larter and the whipped cream bikini? See, Evans’s character attempts to recreate it, only he decides to be a banana split… It’s more tasteful than it sounds.)
heroes 4 publicity photo
Here it is. Underwhelming, except perhaps for fans of Hayden’s cleavage. Remember last summer how Heroes did that awesome pre-Season Three publicity blitz with individual bus posters for each of the twelve regular cast members and huge full-cast billboards? I miss those days.Then again: great posters, but an underwhelming season. Maybe an underwhelming poster will result in a great season? Maybe?
what episode of heroes plays my little runaway
sylar ima walking in the rain
“Into Asylum.” Which, despite Sylar getting the shapeshifting ability and the strategic use of Del Shannon tunes, is sort of a godawful episode, what with Peter and Angela being all kinds of self-absorbed and loathsome while hanging out in a church and Claire and Nathan wasting the viewing audience’s precious time getting drunk in Mexico. It’s no 1961 in terms of overall wretchedness, but man, it wasn’t good.
jason gilman fanclub
Something you haven’t told us, Jason?
who is Alex in heroes volume 4
justin baldoni gay sex
Yeah, cute Justin Baldoni played cute Alex, but since I’ve had no exposure to him beyond his brief stint on Heroes, I’m clueless about the second search term here. But! I just remembered I actually had a dream about Baldoni last night, in which we were at a party and I was telling him that I liked him on Heroes, and he was insisting that he was never on Heroes, he was in Mission: Impossible instead. Yeah, I don’t know. We’re having a heat wave and I’m not sleeping well. My dreams are getting a little wonky.
Comments
You're in good company. Mark Twain wrote the pamphlet My watch: an instructive little tale back when he needed a bit of spare cash. Fine stuff!
Speaking of fine stuff, I always love your keyword search articles. Nicely done!
I'd enter the Worst Heroes Line ever contest, but, as you well know, entire episodes depart my brain within hours of watching them. I can't be expected to remember individual lines, no matter how godawful they are.
"Machine. Unexpectedly, I’d invented a time"
(I had one visitor from Bloomington last month, but s/he arrived via a more prosaic Google search for "Michael Rosenbaum Girlfriend.")
Yes. I also get 'if i type this into google will i make the next edition of dan liebke’s “fun with keywords”?' on a regular basis from somebody in Sydney town.
It worked once, but they've been using it every other day since then. Which is a lot to type just to mess with my keywords.
I am, however, heartened to see there's still a fervent interest in cookies that smell like Mohinder's hair. It's a cottage industry waiting to happen.
But it is not this day."
I think a place in the top 10 worst lines has to be reserved for Angela's godawful explanation about why she steals socks for her sister.
Looking forward to recaps starting. Flashforward looks promising. A bit Lost-like, before it went into monsters and island moving nonense. Im also keeping an eye on Happy Town. Looks intriguing.
Congrats on freelance writing gig too!
Sylar telling Elle, without a single trace of irony, that he forgives her (for... getting mad at him for murdering her father?) is way up there on my list of worst lines, just for the exceptionally high "WTF???" factor.
Eyes up, Hiro.
I salute the troubled soul in Bloomington. The needs of the many and all that rot.
I believe I was actually called upon, in my sick-day-daze, to offer an expert opinion on, of all things, breast photoshopping.
It looks like they cranked the contrast up on all of them. More dramatic shadows, perhaps to imply a more dramatic season? (I'm hoping someone dies in a freak elevator accident, while someone else discovers that they're pregnant... but the father is not her husband!)
Anyway, to the point. Yeah, that little dark line that makes its way up her chest from her shirt doesn't look like it's part of the natural lay of the land at all. Trick is that it's hard to say how much of it happened in cranking up the contrast, and how much of it was added afterward. I suspect a little bit of both.
And that is my expert opinion. Feel free to ask me about any other breasts. I'm happy to leap into action for the good of the cause.
Now back to bed with me. Please, carry on.
I'm going to crudely Photoshop Mohinder into that poster, preferably standing right in front of Claire. Just to raise my spirits about this coming season a bit.
Speaking of crude Photoshop work on the promotional poster - try this out.
Can I join your fan club too, Jason?
It's obviously done on purpose to keep me from remembering how far this show has fallen.
But I do have to say the improved poster with Skulky the Turtle makes the show look far more promising.
Might be worth noting that the annual television pre-season bus poster/billboard blitz is taking place all across Los Angeles... and Heroes has zero posters up. None. Nowhere. Last year's poster campaign was huge: in June the traditional eclipse logo one-sheets cropped up all over town, then in July they were replaced by similar posters with "VILLAINS" spray-painted in red across them, and in August they rolled out the cool individual-character one-sheets. And there were huge painted murals on the sides of buildings, and city buses were painted over with the character posters.
This season? Nothing. NBC Universal is not spending money promoting it. I think they're a little embarrassed.
So...you'll be doing one recap, then?...
Then suddenly, unexpectedly, Mohinder walks by in the background of a scene in episode 6 and like moths to a flame you're back...but only recapping that one scene. I mean, you've got to have standards.
There are no posters up? Yikes. Then again I think most of us are expecting this to be the final season of the show (barring a miracle or a tragedy, depending on your opinion). If I see Mohinder say, "screw it" and hop a plane back to India where he begins teaching again while doing research in his spare time and develops quite a following in his own right (as a geneticist) I'll take it.
Yeah, no bus posters. No billboards. No hype. I think NBC is deliberately reducing expectations. Probably a good strategy.
I think they'll all do okay for themselves post-Heroes, even with how far the show has fallen. Quinto's been taking a tremendous amount of crap for how bizarrely Sylar was presented last season (I mean, The Power of Empathy? Whose brainchild was that?), but it's more than balanced by the praise for he got for Trek. I think Heroes will only help Sendhil, Masi, Grunberg et al snag good projects after Heroes fades away for good.
(I'm tired. I've typed "Hereos" twice, which sounds like some ungodly combination of Heroes and Oreos.)