Glee: Vitamin D

Will leads the kids through a lackluster rehearsal. There’s only two weeks until Sectionals, and he’s worried they’ve become complacent. The kids have seen their competition schedule: They only have to beat a school for the deaf and a halfway house for wayward girls to make it to Regionals, so they’re feeling pretty confident about their chances. In the teachers’ lounge, as Emma lovingly wipes mustard from his chin, Will tells her he wants to find some way to motivate them. Sue interrupts to share her motivational technique: Each week, she kicks someone off the cheerleading squad at random. As she puts it, “We’re dealing with children. They need to be terrified.”

Will decides to revitalize the glee club by pitting the kids in a competition against each other, boys versus the girls. They’ve got one week to plan, rehearse and perform a mash-up. While Will yammers on about this, Finn keeps nodding off. Yeah, mash-ups don’t thrill me, either. Finn also has kind of a long voice-over about how he likes Quinn, but he’s fascinated by Rachel. It’s… a little flat. Monologues really aren’t Glee’s strong suit, though he does get in a good quip about having to mask the scent of Biofreeze with Drakkar Noir.

Sue’s having a bad day: She broke her juicer while making a beef bone smoothie, and she noticed Quinn having muscle tremors while forming a pyramid during Cheerios practice, which Quinn blamed on being exhausted from glee club rehearsals. Sue vows to destroy Will for damaging the strength of her squad. Sue stops by the Schuester home for tea and meddling: She tells Terri that Will is messing around with Emma. She urges Terri to take a job as the school nurse -- the former nurse is currently in a coma, thanks to Sue pushing her down the stairs -- to keep a close eye on her errant husband. Even though Terri has no nursing background, she gets the job, having sold Principal Figgins on her skills in folding hand towels and defibrillation.

Puck and the rest of the glee club boys convince Finn to go to the nurse to do something about falling asleep in class. Terri takes an interest in Finn’s well-being, seeing as (she thinks) he’s the father of the baby she’s planning on appropriating. To cure his sleepiness, she gives him pseudoephedrine pills, which she claims are like vitamins.

A hopped-up Finn gives pills to the rest of the New Directions boys. They perform an energetic version of their mash-up, with Finn and Artie singing the leads. Their selected mash-up? Bon Jovi’s “It’s My Life” and Usher’s “Confessions.” And… it’s really good. I think both songs were vastly improved. The girls are stymied by the stellar performance, until Kurt plays double agent and tells them about the pills.

Quinn’s been skipping rehearsals, so Rachel confronts her and tells her not to worry -- the glee club kids won’t judge her because of her pregnancy. Aw, I like Rachel when she’s being a decent human being.

Coach Tanaka and Terri conspire about ways to break the mutual attraction between Will and Emma. Terri gives the coach some pseudoephedrine and tells him to propose to Emma. Which he does.

Rachel bawls Finn out for taking the pills, suggesting he follow her example instead with a rigorous diet and exercise routine. She loses a little of her moral disapproval, though, when Finn points out that the guys are going to trounce the girls in the competition. So Terri doses all the New Directions girls with pills, Rachel included.

The girls perform their mash-up -- Beyonce’s “Halo” and “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and the Waves -- and it’s swell, but I’m going to give the edge to the guys.

Emma tells Will she doesn’t know what to do about the coach’s proposal. When Terri spots them together, she orders Emma to stay away from her husband. Emma retorts that Will is too good for Terri, and just as I’m starting feel a little bit of sympathy for Terri, Terri makes a ghastly comment about how Coach Tanaka’s mixed ethnic heritage will cause genetic disorders in their offspring. Terri, babe, you’re making it hard for me to get in your corner.

Quinn decides she has too much going on in her life right now to be a mother and agrees to give Terri the baby.

Emma braves the unhygienic and unsanitary confines of the boys’ locker room to tell Tanaka she’ll agree to his proposal, provided she can keep her name, live in her own home, and not see him outside of school. The coach agrees to these conditions. Which is very sad.

Rachel and Finn, good kids at heart, feel guilty and terrible about taking the pills. They confess to Will, who is horrified about Terri giving the kids drugs. Principal Figgins asks for Terri’s resignation. He now also has grave doubts about Will’s judgment, so he assigns a co-director to the glee club: Sue.

As Emma glumly tells Will she accepted the proposal, Rachel throws the pills in the trash and returns to her uber-healthy, super-motivated daily fitness routine.