“The Mummy? Wow,” said the dude tearing tickets at the movie theater on Monday morning.
The Mummy is the kind of movie you see on a weekday morning when you’re unemployed, and the water is turned off in your building for plumbing repairs so you have to spend the day out of your apartment, and Seattle museums are too expensive (MoPOP is $33, are you kidding me?), and there are no conveniently early show times for Wonder Woman at any local theater. Under no circumstances other than those should anyone see The Mummy.
Scratch that. Even under those circumstances, don’t see The Mummy. Learn from my mistake.
I was going to do a whole blog post detailing the somewhat shocking awfulness of The Mummy, but it seems like every single movie critic has that territory covered already, so I’m just going to move on. I can usually find something to love about even the biggest and dumbest of big summer movies, but The Mummy broke my soul.
We’re adjusting to Seattle nicely. Seattle is beautiful! The weather is perfect! We can turn on our oven in June without melting from the blast of heat! We don't miss New York.
And we now have our stuff, at long last. Our apartment looks good. My sister and I are sharing a studio, instead of our nice roomy two-bedroom place in Queens, and we haven’t murdered each other yet, so all is well.
Our place looks much better filled with our books and rugs.
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| Before! |
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| After! |
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| I have a new phone, and it takes really tall, skinny photos. Dunno. |
I’ve rigged up a curtain to give myself the illusion of a bedroom. It’s working out nicely thus far.
I found the cool sinister cat sculpture at the top of this post today in a box of junk someone was throwing out on the curb down the block. I figure there’s no way it isn’t cursed, right? It fits in well with our decor, particularly with our Antiquities Room, which was a thing we decided we needed.
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| Every home should have an Antiquities Room! |
We’ve embarked upon a scientific and rigorous quest to find the best doughnuts in Seattle. These are from the fabulously-named General Porpoise: vanilla custard, lemon curd, honey yogurt, chocolate marshmallow, and apple rhubarb. They’re all quite lovely! Good, distinct fillings combined with a nice, light yeast dough. Thumbs up. Have I had better? Yes—my heart still belongs to New York’s glorious Doughnut Plant. But these were nonetheless very tasty.
A pair of Duran comics that I don't think I've had the chance to post here yet:
For the video of the week, let’s go with… oh, how about Depeche Mode’s “Personal Jesus”? (Seattle is all about eighties music, by the way. After coming from the airport and picking up keys to our apartment, we ran out for toilet paper and coffee, et cetera. Our local grocery store was blasting the Miami Vice theme when we walked in, and I swear, I almost burst into tears. These are my people!).
Have a lovely weekend, all.
Comments
I'm really disappointed about The Mummy. For months, my friend and I wanted to watch it, but once we got into the reviews, oh man. And we'll generally watch anything!
So glad you're happy being back in Seattle. We just got a new 70s-80s station last month, and everyone is in love with it. The 80s will never die; just too much goodness lies therein.
I was really hoping The Mummy would be a big, fun summer move. Alas, it was a joyless slog. It has six credited screenwriters -- some of whom have worked on very good projects in the past -- and the script was a tortured mess. Such a big misstep.
I was planning on seeing The Mummy tomorrow... looks like I should really just pass. I admit, I was only going to see Russell Crowe, cuz I like the though of him being Jekyll/Hyde, but it sounds like not even that is going to be worth the time/money/effort. So, I will learn from your mistake, and bypass that madness. Thank you.
Russell Crowe is one of the few decent things about The Mummy. He does not embarrass himself, and I would watch a movie just about his Jekyll/Hyde. We were happy whenever he showed up on screen. (Sofia Boutella, who plays the mummy, also acquits herself well. Everyone else is flat-out embarrassing). But the movie is a little painful to watch in a theater, honestly. I've never seen so many lines of dialogue fall flat in a big-budget studio movie.
Okay, glad to hear Crowe was at least good. I had no interest in The Mummy at all until I heard who he was playing. Then I perked right up, cuz he could rock that role. And I do like Sofia Boutella, she's pretty cool other things I've seen her in. Too bad the movie around them scuks. Sounds like a netflix catch some day when I've run out of better things to watch!
things i have seen people reblog about the mummy:
1. the video from the theater(s?) where they messed up the audio on the trailer
2. gifs from the old mummy
i have seen literally nothing else about it. no reviews, nothing. granted, i just got through an ear infection and food poisoning at the same time, so it’s not like i’ve been in any condition to seek out the hottest takes on the mummy. but its (lack of) presence was nonetheless a bad sign. it’s kind of a bummer, since i thought it was cool and interesting for them to recast the mummy as a girl. but at least you have wonder woman to look forward to?
(the cat statue does seem like it’d be at home in an egyptian tomb. hmm…)
is seattle as cloudy as it’s supposed to be? i’d like that a lot, i would be able to branch out from polarized sunglasses. XD (but i know, i know, the clouds don’t get rid of the UVs… i’d still have to put on sunscreen or bring a parasol for going out, just like at home. why is the sun such a hassle. ._.) and wood floors, nice! it looks like a home with all the books and rugs in it. ^_^ and an antiquities room, that’s fun!
(richard touchface~) you would love publix! they went through an area-wide phase a little while ago (some of them may still be in the middle of it?) where they went from playing a mix of various decades in their stores to strictly eighties. and before then, they’re one of the few places i’ve heard 2000s duran in the wild! cool guys, those publix people. (sadly, our 70s-90s but mostly 80s station was good several years ago but now it stiiiiinks.)
As for The Mummy, if I watch it at all, it will be on a small screen with friends in order to mock it. 😆
The Mummy... It's not one of those so-bad-it's-good movies; it's just really tired and dull, which is probably why you're not hearing much specific about it. I had planned to do a full review, but I didn't want to spend an afternoon thinking about all the things wrong with it. Just a complete bust.
I will investigate Publix.
Vintagehoarder -- I always feel more comfortable in homes with loaded bookcases. And yes, by all means, rent The Mummy and mock it. That's probably exactly the way to watch it.
i just can't believe they're apparently trying to start an entire mcu-style franchise off the back of the mummy. don't we have enough franchises by now
do you even have publix? i noticed during the dc trip that there were no publixes. yeah, now that i look at their website, it's the Southern Supermarket Chain. (and more specifically the Florida Supermarket Chain–we are the king of publix with 795 locations.) no walls of orange juice or pub subs for seattle. :'(