Heroes Volume Two, Chapter Two: Lizards

Cork, Ireland: Peter gets interrogated by the Irish iPod bandits. He still can’t remember anything, though he still has the full spectrum of his powers. The thugs want Peter to help them with some kind of heist – in return, they’ll give him a box containing everything they found on him in the shipping crate, which might give him some clues to his identity. The teaser for next week’s episode is really playing up this "What’s in the box?" angle, but come on: this is sweet, dippy Peter we’re talking about. Five bucks says the box contains nothing more exciting than his Metro pass, a Dunkin’ Donuts punch card, and the condom he’s been carrying around since 1998.

I miss Peter’s bangs.

In Japan, anxious to restore history to its proper path, Hiro impersonates Takezo Kensai, defeats a horde of bandits with the aid of his powers, and woos beautiful Yaeko, the swordsmith’s daughter, whom Kensai is destined to take as his princess. Kensai, still drunk and disgraceful, gets riddled with arrows by bandits. However, Kensai, like Claire, can regenerate – as Hiro gapes, Kensai comes back to life.

New York: newly-minted detective Matt brings Angela Petrelli in for questioning about Kaito Nakamura’s murder. When he tries to read her mind, she mentally yells at him to get out of her head. Nathan (still bearded, though possibly less drunk) arrives to bail his mom out and has an awkward reunion with Matt, of the "We previously met when you were bailing your now-dead brother out of jail for possibly murdering that cheerleader in Texas, remember?" variety. When Angela gets attacked by some kind of formless entity, Nathan and Matt rescue her.

Maya and Alejandro make it through Guatemala to the Mexican border. We see a little more of their powers: Maya can, um, make black goo seep from everyone’s eyes? Something like that? And Alejandro can… make the black goo go away? Yeah, they’re not being terribly specific just yet. The twins are cute, but their plotline hasn’t advanced enough to justify the great chunk of time devoted to it thus far.

In Port-au-Prince, Mohinder wears a blindingly white shirt and looks more beautiful than any undercover geneticist has any right to look. He also speaks French, which knocks his sex appeal right into the stratosphere, thank you very much. Mohinder is assigned by the Company to track down the Haitian, who is suspected of carrying the same virus that infected Molly Walker and Shanti Suresh. Since prior to this new occurrence there have only been two documented cases of this virus, spaced thirty-three years apart, should we really keep referring to it as a "plague"? Really? We’re okay with that? You sure? Mohinder finds the Haitian and cures him with his own super-special-miracle blood. When he discloses to the Haitian that he’s working for the Company, the Haitian advances on him… and Bob, Mohinder’s Company contact, finds Mohinder several hours later, his mind apparently wiped, staring blankly into space and claiming to have no recollection of finding or treating the Haitian.

Costa Verde, California: Mr. Bennet, working the late shift at his dismal copy shop job, calls Mohinder, who tells him the mission was a success: Bob was fooled by his claims to remember nothing. I highly approve of this new, sneaky, globe-trotting, less-incompetent version of Mohinder. Pat yourselves on the back, writing staff. The Haitian shows up at the copy shop and has a nice reunion with his former partner.

After suffering through the world’s dumbest lecture on genetics in her biology class (a scathing indictment of the state of California’s public schools, or just sloppy writing? You decide), Claire tests the limits of her powers by snipping off her littlest toe with a pair of scissors. Oh, Claire. That’s so dumb it’s almost endearing. Your motivations are still baffling, but you might be starting to grow on me. Fortunately, Claire’s toe regenerates. Less fortunately, neighborhood stalker West peers through the window and views Claire’s makeshift amputation…


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