Heroes Volume Four, Chapter Eleven: I Am Sylar

Hiro and Ando urge Matt to help them overthrow Building 26, but Matt refuses. Instead, he drives to California and delivers Baby Matt to Janice. He starts laying the groundwork for getting back together with her. This seems a bit hasty, considering how two episodes ago he tried to, y’know, murder that innocent Eastern European prostitute to get vengeance for the death of his dream girl Daphne. Matt’s characterization has sort of been all over the place this volume. While Matt and Janice moon over each other, Danko’s goons converge on the house.

Hiro and Ando break into Isaac’s loft/Mohinder’s lab, where Hiro mocks Ando’s chosen superhero alias, Crimson Arc. They bicker and squabble for far too long, until Danko’s goons mercifully arrive to apprehend them. Hiro lets Ando get captured, then disguises himself as one of the goons. His deception is soon revealed, but Ando knocks the goons out with his red lightning powers, and they both escape. Ando is plenty upset with Hiro for using him as bait without his permission. They squabble some more. When Hiro tries to freeze time to enable them to break into Building 26, he ends up with a severe headache and nosebleed.

In Washington DC, an especially nervous and twitchy Sylar wakes up in the guise of one of Danko’s goons, Agent Taub. Since he went to sleep as himself, this freaks him out a little. Also unnerving: he’s got an extra tooth in his mouth, thanks to the constant reassembling of his DNA from all his shapeshifting. Sylar frets that he’s losing track of himself. Danko tries to get him to chill out a little and persuades him to reassume Agent Taub’s identity. Sylar does, but telekinetically carves “I AM SYLAR” into his own arm.

In Virginia, guest star Clint Howard gets a text message from Rebel/Micah warning him of danger. When Clint finds Sylar in his living room, he mistakes him for Rebel and demonstrates his ability to shatter objects at a distance.

When Danko and his men raid Clint’s house, they find Clint with his head chopped open and “I AM SYLAR” written on the wall in blood.

In search of some way to anchor himself to his true identity, Sylar sorts through police files about his mother’s murder. He sniffs his mom’s bloodstained clothes and plays with her snow globes, then shifts into her form and carries on an imaginary conversation with her about how his real dad kind of sucks and nobody loves him. Danko drops by and interrupts this lunacy with the news that he’s located Rebel.

Danko and his goons converge on Micah, but Sylar finds him first. Micah pumps Sylar’s ego by reassuring him he’s special, so Sylar decides not to kill him. Sylar disguises himself as Micah and draws the fire of Danko’s men to give him a chance to escape. Weirdly, Sylar then brings Micah back to his apartment. When Micah tries to draw comparisons between Sylar’s and Nikki’s identity issues, Sylar grimly tells him, “I am not your mother.” Thanks for clearing that up, Sylar. Micah puts the idea into Sylar’s head to impersonate Nathan Petrelli. Micah’s a cool little guy, but maybe that wasn’t his brightest move ever.

Sylar ransacks Nathan’s office, all the while imagining his mother haranguing him about someday becoming the President of the United States. Sylar swipes Nathan’s DNA from his toothbrush and shifts into Nathan.

In Coyote Sands, the assorted Bennets and Petrellis congregate at a café and watch Sylar-as-Nathan give a nationally-televised press conference about how the President keeps ignoring him. Nathan and Peter realize Sylar intends to take the place of the President. Nathan heads off to stop Sylar, with Peter following.

Nathan bursts into his office, finds Sylar-as-Nathan, and tells him, “Get the hell out of my body!” Some people live their whole lives without ever finding occasion to deliver that line. Sylar rambles on for a while about Nathan’s self-loathing issues. Hey, Sylar? Give the endless psychoanalysis a rest. Please. Before Sylar can kill Nathan, Danko arrives and knocks Nathan out.

Over a closing Mohinderlogue, Claire, Bennet and Angela get stopped by Danko’s goons at a roadblock. Back at Coyote Sands, Mohinder tries to view the film about his father by holding it up to the light of a lantern. Aw, Mohinder, that’s not how you do it! Agents sneak up and taser him. For those keeping score at home:

Number of episodes in this volume thus far: Eleven
Number of episodes in this volume featuring Mohinder: Seven.
Number of episodes in this volume in which Mohinder has been knocked unconscious: Five

Finally realizing his nutcase partner is a bit of a liability (should’ve been obvious, really), Danko stabs Sylar in the head. Sylar comes back to life, yanks the knife out of his brain, and tells him, “That hurt.”

Comments

Patrick said…
First, I loved the way Sylar got so excited when he saw the special power of the guy who could shatter porcelain figures. He must have been thinking that it would come in useful sometime and not be just another one of his powers that he collects but never uses.

It also seemed as if the Petrellis were in that cafe for a very long time, watching the same speech over and over.

I laughed reading Morgan's account of Mohinder's pathetic attempt to watch the film. If he really was that curious he should have gone somewhere suitable to watch it. No wonder he's captured so often (awesome stats Morgan!).

It seemed like they were trying to set things up for the next volume (apparently called 'Redemption'). I wouldn't be surprised if Micah's line to Sylar, 'You can save us all', will be replayed a lot next year as Sylar goes on another terrible road journey, this time to redeem himself.

And speaking of road journeys, I had read on some website that Sylar Snr. was going to be in this episode (I can't think of his name, but I know it's not Lionel). That plotline with Luke and Sylar Snr. really was the most pointless one ever. Well apart from some of the other ones.
Ingrid Richter said…
Sylar's messed-up again! His shape-shifting shenanigans make me so happy that I'm ignoring the whole "I just need love/I forgive you" message.

Loved Danko's smooth near-kill of Sylar. I actually liked Danko quite a bit this episode ("Sylar!!! Stop pretending to be your mother and get back into Agent Taub's body right now!")

Oh, Mohinder. Brilliant scientist; doesn't think of heading to a library or movie theater to actually watch the film.
Morgan Richter said…
Is the Junior Senator from New York really allowed to give a nationally-televised press conference about how he can't get any quality face time with the President? Really? Are CNN and MSNBC going to devote quality airtime to letting Senator Petrelli feel sorry for himself?

Sylar is a lot of fun when he's losing his marbles. I think he managed to thoroughly weird out poor little Micah. Fine stuff. I was kinda bored by both the Hiro-Ando plotline and the Matt-Janice plotline, but the Sylar stuff was fun enough to compensate.

As to Mohinder trying to view the film by lamplight, I think this would be a good time to direct you all once again to the awesome motivational poster our fellow commenter Lou made a few months back. Oh, Mohinder. It's a good thing you're beautiful.
levitatethis said…
Great recap!

Someone posted that they figured Sylar wasn't incapacitated by Danko's object to the head because all his shape shifting had shifted that vulnerable part of his brain. Which I get, but still I'm getting tired of infallible Sylar. There needs to be a feeling of consequences.

At the other end of the spectrum is Mohinder with his 2 seconds of screen time getting knocked out again. I love your stats because it's so true. Poor guy. Without a projector he's actually trying to decipher film of his father by holding it up to a light. What the hell? They couldn't at least have him trying to make his way somewhere he could watch it? They had to have Mohinder holding it up to the light? I really wonder if the writers can't stand Mohinder.

Matt going on about wanting to give it a shot with Janice was amusing only because we watched him pine over Daphne like she was his soulmate for more episodes than I would care to remember. This character is giving me whiplash this season.

I still love Danko. Sylar becoming Virginia was appropriately creepy and I think Micah's reaction was spot on -- fascinated and frightened all at once.
Morgan Richter said…
I just posted this over at the Mohinder thread on the Television Without Pity boards, but here's the full rundown of Mohinder's participation in Volume Four:

Chapter One: gets tasered unconscious by Bennet.

Chapter Three: appears only in the last few seconds, has no dialogue.

Chapter Four: gets tasered unconcious by Danko's agents.

Chapter Five: does not appear in the episode.

Chapter Six: does not appear in the episode.

Chapter Seven: gets tasered unconscious by one of Danko's agents.

Chapter Eight: does not appear in the episode.

Chapter Ten: gets electrocuted unconscious by Alice.

Chapter Eleven: appears only in the last few seconds, has no dialogue, and gets tasered unconscious by Danko's agents.

He's done nothing scientific this volume (which is probably just as well, seeing how poorly the show handles science, but still, he's the resident scientist...), he's barely used his super-strength (and never in any way that's been important to the plot)... What the hell, Heroes? It's not even like they've turned him into a damsel in distress, because nobody ever bothers to come to his rescue (Matt and Peter, I'm looking at you). He's just the guy who gets knocked out a lot.

I had zero patience for Matt mooning over Janice. Seriously. I'm fine with Janice, it's okay with me if they want to bring her back on the show, but don't expect me to have any emotional investment in her possible reconciliation with Matt. Considering what went down with Daphne just a couple episode back, it seems inappropriate and forced. Somewhat more to the point, it also bores the snot out of me.

Hmm. Maybe it's a good thing next week is the finale. My Heroes love seems to have taken a hit; it's probably just as well to take a break from the show for a while.
levitatethis said…
On a weird note, I wonder if the handling of Mohinder in Volume 4 is exactly why I've actually had less of an issue with him this time around. I hate that he has no real storyline or purpose but at least he's not being written disgustingly out of character like in Volume 3. If the writers would just give him some direction and reconnect him with the others I would take that. Part of what I'm inarticulately trying to say is that at least the limited dialogue/story time we've seen for Mohinder in Volume 4 feels more related to the character his season 1 version.

But I'm sick of him getting knocked around and no one giving two figs about him.

By comparison at this point Matt is all over the place. I didn't care about him and Daphne because that was rushed. I don't care about him and Janice because the writers just spent a truckload of episodes trying to convince me of Matt and Daphne...I actually don't mind Janice (which seems to be an unpopular opinion) but I was more interested in them as a couple back in season 1...and even then, not so much since I liked Matt and Audrey.
Morgan Richter said…
Mohinder may not have much to do, but at least he's not bonking people over the head and stuffing them in cocoons, right? Despite his lack of screentime and his lack of anything to do that advances the plot in any way, I've liked Mo a lot this volume. He's been consistently sweet and sensible from his very first appearance in the cab with Peter. If there was a conscious decision by the writers to lower his profile until they could get his character back on track after last volume's train wreck, I'd have to say it was a pretty good choice -- provided he gets something juicy to do next season.

I don't know where they're taking Matt. It's cool when they examine his dark side... but it's less cool when they jettison his dark side a couple episodes later and let him frolic with Janice and his baby without any nod to the fact that he almost murdered an innocent party out of vengeance for Daphne's murder, which he now seems to have forgotten about entirely. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and it makes it very hard to stay emotionally invested in anything Matt does.

Also: Hiro and Ando need to knock it off with the bickering. It seems like they've had the same argument over and over again since the start of the volume, and it's not getting any more interesting.
levitatethis said…
Once again it's like your reading my mind.

If the writers are lowering Mohinder's profile and getting him back on track in preparation for a well written storyline I'm all for it. All I'm asking is that I recognize the character and volume 4 Mohinder is someone who makes sense to me.

Then there's Matt. Like you I would have preferred seeing an exploration into his going to the dark side but, as seems to be the case on this show, interesting storylines only last an episode then get dropped and ignored almost immediately. It's like the writers have zero attention span and expect the viewers to be the same way. Then you get into problems like this one with Matt where I have no clue what's motivating him or what he wants and I'm losing what little interest I already had.

Ando and Hiro bickering only works for me for a short period of time before I'm ready to knock them both upside the head.
Morgan Richter said…
Maybe it's just a matter of a lack of cohesion among the writing staff. I know TV scripts are a group effort, but maybe you get one writer or pair of writers who feel Matt should be flirting with his dark side, and then the next writers revert Matt back to the amiable teddy bear whom everybody loves, and there's nobody to reign it in and say, "Hey, that doesn't mesh with what we've established thus far." It seems too often internal consistency is sacrificed for the sake of the plot idea of the moment, which is a shame. I'm a big fan of consistency. I watch Heroes because I've grown attached to this adorable gang of nitwits. When they behave in an inconsistent manner, they're no longer the characters I'm attached to, and I become distanced from them.

I know Hiro and Ando are often the zany comic relief on the show, and that's okay, but it bothers me when they behave in a way that actively sabotages whatever they're trying to do. Hey, guys? When you're in the middle of being attacked by Danko's goons, or getting ready to launch a raid on Building 26, it might behoove you to stop squabbling over sidekicks and aliases until you're out of danger.
Jason Gilman said…
Good recap Morgan. The Matt aspects of this episode are indeed disappointing. And clearly they didn't really need to kill Daphne off because based on the whole Matt Jr. scenario they were never really serious about dark Matt. What they should have done is let Matt save her and then immediately thrown Matt Jr. into the mix to complicate his life, their relationship and create numerous possibilities for her to leave the scene (or not).

The Sylar stuff on the other hand was kind of fun. As powerful as he is, it's cool to see that shapeshifting exacts its own special toll. As far as Sylar's calling out the President on National TV goes though... pretty ridiculous. Nathan has been heading up a special task force at the President's behest after the ill-fated limo ride this started this chapter rolling. I'm betting he can get a covert meeting pretty quickly. And side note about Nathan, since I'm moving that direction and this has been bugging me all season: apparently US Senators have a ridiculous amount of spare time in the Heroes universe and can disappear without staff, media, and constituents noticing or raising an outcry.

Finally this didn't seem quite accurate:
Nathan and Peter realize Sylar intends to take the place of the President. In a rare moment of fraternal unity, they head off together to stop him.My take:
"In a typical display of Petrelli family unity Nathan insists on handling this issue himself and leaves. Peter gives him a brief head start, exchanges wordless glances with the others and then follows."
Morgan Richter said…
Jason, you're right about Peter and Nathan leaving the diner separately. Still, the boys seem a lot closer to rapprochement now than at any other point in this volume (i.e. Peter wasn't glaring daggers and snarling at his dastardly traitor of a brother).

Sylar-as-Nathan's press conference was fairly baffling. Unless Sylar was doing it solely to piss off the real Nathan, in which case: well played, Sylar.
Jason Gilman said…
Yeah, I can actually buy Sylar doing it as a means to lure Nathan. For a psychopath like him it's more fun to rub an identity theft in the victim's face before you rub him out. On the other hand if the writer's really wanted to draw some inspiration from Watchmen beyond the blowing everything up- Sylar would have morphed into the President right before he started sawing Nathan's head, or better yet right after he pulled out Danko's knife because he had already met with him off camera.
Morgan Richter said…
It seems like a missed opportunity that Sylar was in a holding pattern most of this volume (i.e. that interminable road trip with Luke and the exploration of his daddy issues) and only now, within the last couple of episodes, has something really, really cool developed with his character. It would have been great if he'd nabbed the shapeshifting ability at the beginning of the volume, and if our heroes had figured it out about six or seven episodes in, and if the remainder of the volume had been focused around them trying to track down and stop Sylar. Because... next Monday is it, folks. End of the volume. Just when Sylar's plotline is finally starting to pick up momentum.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this episode was the first time this volume that Sylar has interacted with any other regular cast member, right? Pacing-wise, that just seems wrong. When he's handled correctly, Sylar is an awesome adversary. Why not constantly pit him against the others? Because let's face it, the higher purpose of having a shape-shifting ability is playing mind-games on your nemeses. I feel strongly that this is something Sylar would instinctively understand and respect.
levitatethis said…
I agree that Sylar's storyline is finally getting interesting and we're now done with the Volume. I'm hoping with next season that the writers will do a better job of pacing the storylines.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but this episode was the first time this volume that Sylar has interacted with any other regular cast member, right? Pacing-wise, that just seems wrong. When he's handled correctly, Sylar is an awesome adversary. Why not constantly pit him against the others? Because let's face it, the higher purpose of having a shape-shifting ability is playing mind-games on your nemeses.The same thing crossed my mind. Imagine him with the shape-shifting earlier in the season interacting with the various characters them not necessarily realizing that it's him. Do you know the kinds of brilliant manipulation he could have pulled off? And then we could have had the other characters slowly piece it together -- maybe give Mohinder something to do that would be a call back to Season 1 when he figured out Zane was Sylar. We never saw when Mohinder discovered the truth and it's always been something I've wondered about. We could have actually seen it this time and it could have been in character for both.

For now I'm going to argue that since Fulle didn't come on until partway through Volume 4 he had to work with what had been already put in place...
Lou said…
Great recap Morgan. There's been so much insightful discussion in the comments this week that I am loathed to wade in with my usual silliness and Mo obsessing. So I wont. For now at least.

Besides Im annoyed. Ive just seen a pap photo of Sendhil on the street I used to work in London. Damn my useless timing...
Morgan Richter said…
It also seems like a missed opportunity to have Bennet figure out that Sylar could shape-shift in the very next episode after Sylar stole that ability. It could have opened up a lot of possibilities if everyone had assumed Sylar was dead for several episodes and having it only gradually dawn on them that Sylar was: a) alive, and b) messing with their heads. (Awesome idea, Levitatethis, with having Mohinder be the one to piece it together and having it tie in somehow to Mohinder figuring out that Zane was Sylar.)

Heh. Aw, Lou, silliness and Mo-obsessing are always welcome (and encouraged!) around here. As an example, I'm a little bummed right now, because promo photos have surfaced for next week's finale, and (spoiler alert!) it looks like Mo's hair will be slicked back once again. Calamity! Let the curls tumble freely!
Morgan Richter said…
(Also, in the interest of accuracy, I fixed the sentence about Nathan and Peter leaving the diner. Thanks for catching that, Jason.)
Patrick said…
All the fathers on Heroes are pretty useless (as in Lost), but I've been wondering who people think is the worst.

Surprisingly, Noah isn't the worst and at least looks after one of his children fairly well. Nathan has a bad record with all three of his kids. We can't have much hope for Matt given the success of his parenting of Molly and Skulky. Sylar's father? Well say no more. It seems to me that the only genuinely good father is Sylar (in that future timeline when he had a son). Go figure.
Ingrid Richter said…
Ooo! Good question, Patrick!

Let's see: Chandra Suresh deserted his wife and son to go faffing about in the U.S. on his strange genetic project.

D.L. got himself thrown in jail and later kidnapped Micah, so he's probably not going to win "Father of the Year" either.

Arthur Petrelli & Matt's dad - both thoroughly evil.

Hiro's dad definitely played favorites with his kids and trusted his son a little *too* much with formulas.

Er, yeah. Looks like (Future) Sylar might actually be the most stable, normal father of the bunch...
Morgan Richter said…
No shortage of terrible fathers on Heroes. From worst to best, measured solely on the basis of their parenting skills (my list is going to overlap with Ingrid's):

Sylar's dad (whose name, apparently, is "Sampson," though I'm not sure they ever used it in an episode): Murdered Sylar's mother and sold his son to strangers.

Niki's dad: Murdered Niki's sister.

Arthur Petrelli: Tried to kill and/or steal powers from his sons.

Maury Parkman: No great shakes, even if he wasn't exactly "WORSE THAN SYLAR!" (thank you, Molly). Tried to trap his son in a perpetual nightmare.

Bob Bishop: Repeatedly electrocuted Elle as a child to test the limits of her abilities. Kept her locked up in Primatech and used her to hunt down Peter and HRG.

Chandra Suresh: Mohinder's abundant daddy issues aside, he didn't seem all that bad. Oh, sure, he didn't love Mohinder as much as he loved Shanti, and apparently he described Mo as "fragile" to Sylar (gosh, thanks, dad), but on the spectrum of the misdeeds of the various Heroes dads, this is small potatoes.

Nathan: Tends to forget about his two small sons, but has recently grown obsessed with being a good father to Claire.

HRG: Overprotective and obsessive, but probably better at being a father than he is at being a decent human being. Lyle might disagree on that point.

Kaito Nakamura: Kind of intimidating and scary, but he gave Hiro kendo lessons, so he's clearly not all bad.

D.L.: Prison record notwithstanding, he seemed to be a pretty okay dad to Micah.

Future Sylar: A waffle-making pile of awesomeness.

Looking over this list, my sweeping conclusion is this: we've met the fathers of too many of the characters (hell, we even met Daphne's dad).
Ingrid Richter said…
Wow. Did the Richter gals just kill another discussion thread?

Actually, I'd consider Bob a worse father than Matt's dad. Electrocuting and locking up your bonkers daughter is worse than playing mind-games with your son on my sliding scale of evil.
Morgan Richter said…
Oh, sure, Bob was a godnarful father to his own daughter, but he doted on Mohinder, so I give him points for that. Between Mohinder's hissyfit over being asked to inject Monica and his secret partnership with HRG, I spent all of Volume Two waiting for Bob to turn Mo into a pretty golden lawn ornament, but nope: he thought Mohinder was awesome from start to finish.

(Why, yes, that link does lead you to a Bob/Mohinder slash community. No need to thank me.)

This is interesting: here's a new Bryan Fuller interview. Apparently Sylar's dad was supposed to evolve into the major villain for this volume, but when Fuller came back on board, he nixed that idea. Thus, John Glover only appeared in one lonely episode instead of a whole arc:

"I came back for episode 19, so we started breaking that. When they were breaking that, Sylar's dad was going to be the ultimate evil, the devil essentially. I was like, 'didn't you guys just do that with Arthur Petrelli?' They agreed, so we took it in a different direction." .
Well, yeah, but it was John Glover, Fuller! John Glover!
Dan said…
John Glover, Fuller! John Glover!Oh, aye, Morgan. I don't care if they wanted to rehash all three seasons' plots, with Glover (Sampson? Really?) trying to give powers to everybody then hunting them all down, while simultaneously being immortal and releasing a virus as he blows up New York.

Give us Glover, man! Dude singlehandedly stole Smallville. Let him at least have a chance to nab Heroes.

Anyway, I'm late to the party this week, what with an interstate trip and a new computer. I'm not sure I have an awful lot more to add to the discussion. The father rankings seem spot on, although I have to add Molly's father in there probably in between HRG and Nathan - bonus points for telling little Molly to hide from Sylar. Subtract points for not doing the same himself and leaving the girl an orphan to be 'cared' for by Matt and Mohinder.

Also, I believe Matt may be undergoing InstaReconciliation™ with Janice.
Morgan Richter said…
I guess Heroes Wiki has Sylar's dad's name as "Samson," so I'll go with that. Am I right, though, in that we've never heard it mentioned in an episode?

Yeah. Sigh. John Glover, man. If you've got The Glover, don't use him in only one episode. Just let him do whatever he wants. If he says he'll only stay on board if he can play Claire's role, give Hayden her walking papers and start looking for a cheerleading uniform in his size. He's just that good.

Also in the Fuller article, he mentions that the original plan was to kill Tracy off for good, but when he rejoined the staff he insisted they keep her around. On the one hand, he's right: it was the writing staff's fault, not Ali Larter's, that a potentially interesting character had been so botched and under-used (see also: Dania Ramirez as Maya). On the other hand, I have no particular faith that they'll be able to do her justice next season, either.

I'm feeling a little sour on Heroes this week (so many bad decisions! so many missed opportunities! so little time left in the season!). I don't like feeling this way. If anyone has anything frivolous and frothy to share to help get me back on the Heroes love train (pornographic fan art? sonnets about Mohinder's hair?), it'd be much appreciated.
Dan said…
Am I right, though, in that we've never heard it mentioned in an episode?I wouldn't know. I was just so busy going 'Eeeee!' like a giddy schoolgirl that I didn't hear much of anything anybody said.

sonnets about Mohinder's hair?I don't do sonnets. How about a limerick:

A feeling deep down in your belly
Makes your body a-tremble like jelly
You'll never win
'Cause he's movin' on in
Oh, you should never hug a Petrelli
Morgan Richter said…
Excellent work, Dan!

A comely genetics professor
Had a face that could tempt a confessor.
Glossy curls so divine
And a voice like fine wine
And a brain that was... somewhat the lesser.
Dan said…
Heh. Very good. Or, indeed, 'LOL'.

This is fun.

A telepathic round cop named Matt
Falls in love at the drop of a hat
But the true love he seeks
May be a turtle that speaks
I mean, seriously, what's up with that?
Morgan Richter said…
Egad, you're fast at this!

A sullen cheerleader named Claire
Has admittedly fabulous hair
Though she tends to annoy,
She's impossible to destroy.
No one ever said life would be fair.
Dan said…
Is she Niki or Jessica or Tracy?
This character's driving me crazy
If I were smarter
I'd help Ali Larter
...But probably just into something lacy
Dan said…
King of villainy, accept no other,
Is Sylar (not a Petrelli brother)
But what is less regal
Is talking a la Smeagol
To himself, but disguised as his mother
Morgan Richter said…
A mopey young male nurse named Pete
Has a demeanor both dippy and sweet.
He'll always do well, see,
'Cause he's a Petrelli
And if they can't win it fair, they just cheat.
Morgan Richter said…
Dear Noah, Mr. Morally Gray,
To you, sir, I have this to say:
I don't wish to be wordy,
But your glasses look nerdy.
Please don't kill me for thinking this way.
Dan said…
Ah, very good. I was trying to work out one for HRG, but kept getting stuck on 'glasses' and 'passes' and 'asses'.
Morgan Richter said…
I don't know how many of these I have left in me.

You thought it would be such a lark
Your nonsensical scheme was embarked.
Now you're all repentant,
But they still think you meant it.
And Nathan, you're still just a shark.
Dan said…
I'll put you out of your misery

The rest of the cast of Heroes
Are mostly just space-wasting zeroes
Just one more rhyme
Then we'll call 'time'
Speaking of which, this limerick's, uh, Hiro's.
Morgan Richter said…
One more! One more!

Angela, La Grande Dame Petrelli
You shoplifted socks (clean, not smelly)
You've got verve and style
Which should last you a while,
And you murdered your husband quite swell-ly.
Morgan Richter said…
(And somewhere out there, James Kyson Lee comes across this comment thread and thinks, "Dude, I was robbed." Look: it's not my fault if not much rhymes with "Ando.")
Morgan Richter said…
Okay, okay, I couldn't leave Ando out. Last one. Rest assured any slashy overtones exist only in your own filthy imagination:

As a sidekick, Ando has no peer
Though his power's still somewhat unclear.
True, he bickers to distraction
But we can take satisfaction
In knowing he protects Hiro's rear.
Jason Gilman said…
I was stunned to see the number of comments added since I last checked and then quite amused by the poetic turn of events. Here's my contribution to the movement:

Young Micah you've been missed from the scene
A guest star that's tops with machines.
So it turns out you're Rebel
Danko's concerns are now treble
That's two getaways entirely clean.
Jason Gilman said…
But wait- apparently there's more where that came from:

Fair Daphne we knew you just barely
A blur that was stopped oh so rarely.
As Matt declared his love
You were given the shove
From this mortal coil quite unfairly.
Jason Gilman said…
Okay, I think I can safely stop now:

Danko, you're mean, you're short, and you're deadly.
Sylar just pulled your knife from his head. Whee!
The look on your face
A final disgrace?
Will you too join his homicidal medley?
Lou said…
My, my, you have all been so busy,
Making rhymes so excellent Im dizzy,
The end of the season is nigh,
I have only one wish to decry,
Please dont make Mo's hair unfrizzy!

Oh dear...
Morgan Richter said…
Now, THAT'S the spirit! Stellar contributions, Jason and Lou! Pat yourselves on the back.
Ingrid Richter said…
Heh. I love this thread! What about a submission from Volume 2:

Concerning Alejandro and Maya
who probably liked jambalaya:
Sylar chopped off Al's head
and shot Maya dead,
though in truth, she didn't quite die-a.
Morgan Richter said…
A feisty young hellcat named Elle
Met a fate somewhat less than swell.
Her corpse Sylar did burn,
And as to her return,
You'd have to go ask Kristen Bell.
Morgan Richter said…
This is addictive. It's kind of scary:

Oh, Isaac, you were awfully pretty.
The finest artist in the city.
Your addiction to smack
Was all kinds of whack
And your murder was just flat-out shitty.
levitatethis said…
On the one hand I'm disappointed John Glover was only in one episode since Glover is awesome and surely could have brought a lot to the table. On the other hand, even with Fuller back, I don't know how much I'd trust the writers with essentially rehashing another "bad daddy" storyline. Arthur was a huge disappointment as was Maury. I remember how excited I was with what Maury could do and how it might play out and then we got nothing but bad, bad, bad writing.

I also would have preferred Sylar's shape-shifting to go unnoticed for a couple of episodes. I would have liked the build up as he manipulated everyone and only having a couple of them (Bennet and Mohinder, separately) picking up on something being off...with Mohinder ultimately being the one to stop him.

I'm still of the mind that one more shortened season of this show with Fuller at the helm would be good for me and then a tip of the hat goodbye.

As for my (bad) creative contribution:

A genetics prof from Chennai,
He's been beaten, tasered, but not left to die.
A bad guy magnet,
He refuses to stay stagnant
And is pummeled by an onslaught of lies
Morgan Richter said…
Excellent contribution, Levitatethis!

I think too many Bad Daddies have ruined the broth. Similarly, I think Sylar's been given far too much (ever-changing) backstory, and Heroes doesn't handle backstory all that well. It was great in season one when they established that Sylar's parent's biggest sin was being ordinary, when Sylar desperately wanted to be special. Okay, so after his brief flirtation with being a Petrelli, now he's the son of a super-powered mass murderer. Nothing really wrong with that, plotwise, but coming on the tail of "I'm a Petrelli! I'm not a Petrelli!", it seems unnecessarily cluttered, and it really doesn't give us any fresh insights into Sylar or open up many cool new plot possibilities for him.

Just looking at the list upthread of Bad Dads makes me a little weary. Why did we have to meet Maury Parkman and Arthur Petrelli? It seems like Bad Dads are being used mainly to give some InstaAngst and Traumatic Backstory to our main characters (Arthur conspired to kill Nathan! Maury walked out on Matt when he was young! Sylar's dad murdered his mom!), but they've pushed that button too many times. At this point, it's repetitive.

(Ah, the limerick-induced bonhomie appears to have worn off, and I'm back to my Heroes-induced crabbiness. Apologies, everyone.)
levitatethis said…
My last comment before I'm done work today...

One of the things I really liked about Sylar's original past storyline was that he came from such an ordinary background but felt he was so much better than it. So when they made him a Petrelli for two seconds it took away some of that...and then he's the son of this big mass murderer and it's all...expected. I much prefer the season 1 version of his life.

You repeat a storyline too many times (bad dads) and it loses it's impact.

As for the brief mention of Maya before, she's an interesting character for me. On the one hand she annoys the living daylights out of me. On the other hand I really wanted to like her and the potential for her to be an intriguing character was there and totally wasted. She became a sex toy. That's it. Boo!

Okay, final limerick:

Sylar’s past was retconned disastrously,
On the appeal of unnecessary heterosexuality.
Elle showed up with a pie
And a handful of lies
Destroying two once interesting characters with the fallacy
Ingrid Richter said…
Hmm, I never found Maya's character to be a sex toy, unless smooching Sylar and Mohinder counts. And who could blame her?

Wish they had done more with her character, though. Crying black gooey tears and accidentally killing people got kind of old pretty fast...
Morgan Richter said…
I don't miss Maya, though I think she counts as one of those missed opportunities I keep yammering about in this thread. I'm very pro-Dania Ramirez; I just wish her innate awesomeness had been put to better use on the show (of the cast members I've met, Sendhil is my favorite, natch, with Dania, Grunberg, and Jack Coleman all clustered tightly together in second place. And let's face it, I'm giving the edge to Sendhil because his bone structure makes my cold, cold heart go pitty-pat).

Was trying to come up with another limerick, but I'm tapped out. I don't think I could drum one up even if the reward for writing one was a free grope and cupcakes from Sendhil. Odd. I think I exhausted my limerick quota.
levitatethis said…
Maya didn't start off as a sex toy but by the start of Season 3 she was mostly just around to wear revealing clothing and be part of a very creepy sex scene with Mohinder.

And that alone is just wrong because a sex scene with Mohinder should not be creepy.

The whole thing just became very odd and...well, I'm annoyed that so much great potential (I wanted Maya to learn to control her power and use it, potentially even going rogue in a way where she went after those who misused their own powers, like avenging her brother on a grander scale) was utterly wasted. I met Dania during that Heroes World Tour and she was incredibly nice and excited.

I'm envious you met Sendhil. He seems like a good guy.
Ingrid Richter said…
Hmm, I still don't see it, levitatethis. Then again, I didn't think Maya's clothes were particularly revealing or her sex scene with Mohinder was creepy, so my tracking may be all off.

On the other hand, I had a serious bone to pick about Nikki/Tracy the stripper/hooker/party girl in Volume 1. There's a sex toy.
Morgan Richter said…
It was quite an accomplishment, if you think about it: take two impossibly gorgeous creatures like Mohinder and Maya, played by a couple of personality-filled live wires like Sendhil and Dania, strip them down, throw them together... and have their whole relationship turn out kind of creepy and off-putting. Ah, Volume Three. Where they took the most beautiful cast member, got him naked, and covered him head to toe in sticky crap. Thanks, Heroes!

(Even weirder: after two entire volumes of having Peter, Nathan, Sylar, and HRG whip off their shirts for no real reason, it finally dawned on Heroes late in the game that maybe some of us would like to see Mohinder sans vetement, too. Oh, you think?)

I didn't think Maya was oversexualized, but it did bug me that she went from getting duped by Sylar to getting duped by Mohinder (or at least getting walled up in a cocoon by him). And then she was off the show, without ever settling the score with either of them. Not sure why they had to make her such a constant victim of the guys she liked.

Like Ingrid, I probably take more issue with Ali Larter's various characters. I'm glad they backed off from Tracy's portrayal in her first appearance, where she's doing the nasty with Senator Boxleitner while telling him how he pays her for her advice but the sex is for free. Considering the disbalance in their ages and levels of power and status, that's a very hard line to sell. It sure seemed like he was paying her for the sex, too -- or, to be more charitable, that she was deliberately using sex as a tool for advancement. Why can't she just be a smoking-hot and savvy political consultant with an active sex life that doesn't cross over with her work life?

Gah. On to a better topic: Yeah, Sendhil is thoroughly sweet and cool and funny and charming and delightful in person. Probably smells great, too, though I showed plenty of restraint by not asking him if I could give his neck a quick sniff. I have standards.
Patrick said…
I can't remember a greater number of posts on the blog! Not being as clever as Morgan, Dan et al it took me the weekend to work on a few limericks, and even then couldn't complete some! Oh and then realised Dan had already used some of my best lines about Matt (falling in love at the drop of a hat).

My only completed one:

There was a young girl from Cork,
Who fell in love with an out-of-town dork,
Then the writers forgot her,
Even though she was hotter,
And left her in a future New York.

Although the second line suffers from having to call Peter a dork!
Morgan Richter said…
Hooray! Patrick has entered the limerick fray! A fine contribution, Patrick, and limericks provide the perfect opportunity to call Peter a dork.

Mohinder, my darling, my sweetie,
Though your plot of late hasn't been meaty,
I'm feeling quite smug
You're no longer a bug
Plus you patched things up nicely with Petey.
Morgan Richter said…
The limerick bug has struck again:

Hey Sylar, my shape-shifting foe,
Your dad issues pretty much blow.
You're more fun (more insane!)
When you slice up a brain
And play sexy mind-games on Mo.

I'll stop now...
Patrick said…
This is the other one I was working on. I had the first two lines for ages, but struggled with the difficult 'middle' section!

There was a young girl called Alice,
Whose sister was evil and callous,
Everyone thought she was dead,
But she was wasn't right in the head,
And spent fifty years hiding her malice.
Morgan Richter said…
She can find anyone anywhere
But she disappeared into thin air.
Molly, where did you go?
Can we blame Matt and Mo?
'Cause you're gone, yet they seem unaware.
Morgan Richter said…
Can't... stop...

And then there was Adam Monroe
Who answered as well to "Takezo."
His exhumation was a bust:
He was turned into dust.
Immortality's mostly for show.
Dan said…
So... haikus for the finale?
Morgan Dodge said…
I'm disastrously behind here, and have no idea if anyone ran this one yet, but I thought I'd give it a shot, even without the energy to read through all of the clever ones already done...

There once was a man from Primatech
whose daughter was a pain in the neck
if you dare touched his glasses
he'd kick all your asses
but his daughter still just spouted dreck

Dig!
Morgan Richter said…
Huzzah! Boy-Morgan has been lured into the limerick quagmire!

Let us reflect on the struggles
Of a Pekinese menace named Muggles.
He pays his penance
Defending the Bennets
Though he probably pees on the ruggles.

(...what? I'm pretty sure "ruggles" is an accepted variant of "rug.")
Morgan Richter said…
(Sigh. Mr. Muggles is, of course, a Pomeranian, not a Pekingese, a fact which occured to me while vacuuming and which made me wish yet again for some way to go back and edit comments. If Blogger ever comes up with that feature, it will be a happy day for me.)

Season finale tomorrow, folks. Fingers crossed that they end on a high note.
Morgan Dodge said…
There once was a turtle named Skulky
He was dashing and daring and plucky
His plot was ignored
and boy was I bored
The show without him is just sucky
levitatethis said…
Patrick - your limerick has me feeling bad for the disappearance of Caitlin who, even though I wasn't crazy about her (because the Ireland storyline didn't appeal to me), was shockingly forgotten and left behind in some frightening future verse. That whole thing gave me the creeps. She did not sign up for that when she was trying to help Peter.

Then again I'm just as angry that the writers never had Adam and Mohinder cross paths -- we missed out on the battle of the fake English accents!

I've personally never been the biggest fan of the writers approach to women on this show, whether it's Maya, any of the characters Ali played (though I did find Tracy interesting), Claire (who I liked first season and then didn't know what the writers were doing).

But I'm trying to be positive for the finale tonight. Maybe Mohinder will get a line or two! I can dream can't I?
Morgan Richter said…
Ha! I would have been over the moon at the Mohinder-Adam Battle of the Fake English Accents! Chalk up another hash mark in the "missed opportunity" column.

Maybe Mohinder will get a line or two! .
Aw, cheer up, levitatethis! If the official promo photos are any indication, Mohinder will at the very least be (spoiler!) lying unconscious with tubes up his nose! Which: a) has only happened to him on two other occasions this volume, and b) is almost the same thing as having a speaking role, so that's awesome!

...Sigh. Hopes are sort of low for the finale. I'm hoping to be pleasantly surprised by a stealth attack of awesomeness.

(Fun fact about Sendhil: He says "awesome" almost as frequently as I do, probably because he and I were born in the same year and thus share the same pool of pop-culture influences. I have high hopes that he, too, secretly loves Duran Duran videos and has "Safety Dance" and "One Night in Bangkok" on his MP3 player.)
Patrick said…
Ok we are now on 68 comments, I think we can easily go beyond 70. So Morgan, Safety Dance, really?

I liked the episode when HRG and Sylar teamed up to capture some of the villains. It would be an interesting idea for next season - Angela running a Company which tried to sort out problems, a bit like Professor X except this organisation would be NOTHING like the X-Men. That way we could interesting pairings as they try and deal with major crises and villains, a different story each week. Sylar could be brought in early enough (he would be in confinement, but brought out because his skills were needed, but not at all like Silence of Lambs, eh em).

Otherwise we are left with the characters randomly thrown together (a la Fugitives) or doing their own thing (the forgotten volumes).

I'm only saying this because we are on 68 posts and if ever Mr. Fuller was to read this blog it would be NOW!
Patrick said…
This mightn't make too much sense as I have been drinking (it is 10.50 p.m. my time, I don't need to explain myself!) but you know the whole 'One of us, one of them' rule in the original Company? Well, all the Company founders had powers, so when they said 'One of us' they meant someone with powers, not a regular human which is how we have always understood it. The 'One of them' is the regular human. So why did they come up with that rule? Given that the Company was founded in 1977, or 1961 in more recent developments, why did they decide that a regular human was necessary for the teams? Especially as they seemed to despise them so much. We have retconned so much, and rewritten so much, and attempted to provide an Origins storyline so much, but have still never explained things in a way that is plausible.
Morgan Richter said…
Hey, Patrick, your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine. Safety Dance is an awesome song.

I think Bryan Fuller tried, really tried, to read all our comments, but gave up somewhere in the middle of all the limericks.
(Seriously, though, you know how I obsessively monitor my site statistics? A while back, a referring link from the blog of one of the staff writers popped up in my stats. So we've been found out. I never heard anything from him, so I think he took a peek at these waters, winced, and quietly closed his browser, never to return. It wasn't Fuller, that's all I'm saying, though it was a writer who I'd mentioned by name in a positive manner before. There is no anonymity online.)

Good point with the whole "one of us" nonsense. The Company as it was presented in Volume One makes very little sense with all the revisions and retconning that's been done by Volume Four. Gee, looking at those early episodes, I'd be hard-pressed to guess the Company was founded by people with special powers who felt persecuted by people without powers...
Dan said…
Safety Dance is an awesome song.Agreed. Safety Dance makes me feel glad all over.

It wasn't Fuller, that's all I'm saying, though it was a writer who I'd mentioned by name in a positive manner before.Wow, that really cuts it down, doesn't it? I'm going to have to go with Verheiden.

I'd be hard-pressed to guess the Company was founded by people with special powers who felt persecuted by people without powers...Maybe there was a corporate buy-out sometime in the 80s. Possibly by Men Without Hats.
Morgan Richter said…
And here I was trying to be all sneaky. I suppose it really does narrow it down.

Judging from hints dropped in the past few episodes, it does kind of seem like they're leaning toward next volume having the various Petrellis and Bennets form an all-new, all-improved Company. Not sure if this is anything resembling a good idea, but Patrick's probably right -- at least it's a way to get a bunch of our main characters together working in the general direction of a common goal.

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