Fun With Keywords: Awesome Taco Edition

I’m a couple episodes behind on Psych recaps, I know. That situation probably won’t change before the new year: I’m feeling a little down on Psych after a string of mediocre episodes, and ever since finishing up my new book last week, I’m also feeling a little burned out on writing. To buy time while I recharge my batteries, here’s a look at some of the search terms visitors used to find this site over the past few months:

sherilyn fenn lara flynn boyle mädchen amick in jeans
You're thinking of the Twin Peaks-themed cover of Rolling Stone, October 4, 1990.

awesome taco
This search makes me nostalgic. While I’ve had more good Mexican food in New York than I would have expected, I haven’t had a truly awesome taco since moving from Los Angeles.

michael rosenbaum needs a girlfriend
You sound pretty convinced of that. Might want to check with Rosenbaum first. Maybe he already has a girlfriend. Maybe he doesn’t want a girlfriend.

john taylor hair
"hair gel" duran "john taylor"
john taylor from duran duran and his killer cheekbones
john taylor photos beautiful
is john taylor anteater
I get a lot of people looking for information on Duran Duran’s John Taylor. These searchers can pretty much be broken down into three categories: People who think he has great hair, people who are dazzled by his beauty, and people who are intrigued by rumors about his purported prowess in the sack. Hence, anteater.

miami vice john taylor
Okay, four categories: There are also the people who want to see his awesomely trainwrecky Miami Vice cameo. This is from the excellent season two episode “Whatever Works,” in which Power Station is (inexplicably) playing a gig at a local watering hole. John has since claimed he was suffering from a very bad hangover during filming; I’m more inclined to think his hangover is still a few hours off, if you catch my drift. The best part might be Don Johnson’s look of withering contempt for the way the gorgeous, giddy English pop star with no sense of personal space is mucking up his show. (Andy Taylor appears in this clip, too, though apparently nobody trusted him to deliver dialogue.)

why is miami vice so awesome
Here’s ten reasons.

a guy and a woman, they're driving in some european country and they get stopped at some sort of checkpoint, and they get through (i think he's a spy or something) and there are all these people getting killed at the checkpoint by soldiers
Sounds familiar (sounds a lot like Gotcha!, in fact, though I don’t remember anyone getting killed at the checkpoint), but I don’t know. Anyone have any ideas?

elle, an artist, finds an old canoe in woods behind her property. her neighbors consider it abandoned. elle cleans it, paints scenes on it depicting native american rituals, and displays it in her art gallery. flo, the canoe's original owner, claims it, but a court grants elle title. this is
This business again? After a year or so of silence, this search is cropping up once more, maybe a couple dozen times in the last few weeks. My best guess is that it’s maybe a question on a standardized test? It’s still a mystery.

"wild boys" video duran duran costumes
This gives me another excuse to link to that awesome/bizarre clip from the Making of Arena feature where Nick Rhodes, the weird little pixie, happily glues sparkly jewels all over his ruggedly post-apocalyptic leather costume for the “Wild Boys” video. Nick is a strange, dazzling, glorious creature.

battlestar galactica gaeta's gone crazy
Oh, yeah. Poor cute Gaeta went pretty much bonkers there toward the end.

chandra suresh age angela 1961 plothole
You mean the plothole that Erik Avari, who played Chandra Suresh in Heroes, was born in 1952 and Cristine Rose, who played Angela Petrelli, was born in 1951, and thus they would have been entirely the wrong ages in the (lousy) flashback episode “1961,” in which Angela was in her late teens and Chandra was already an adult geneticist? Fair enough, but seriously, man, that episode had much bigger problems than that.

spokane's ugliest building
My vote goes to the dauntingly ugly Sacajawea Middle School, though I’ve always been fond of that totem pole out front. Anyone else care to weigh in?

andy taylor's quotes about nick rhodes in his book wild boy
In terms of Andy's quotes about his acrimonious relationship with Nick in his autobiography, it's hard to top this one from page 266: "Fuck you, you Revlon-wearing tosser." Ouch.

how does duran duran feel about andys book
Good question. John offered up a blandly noncommittal assessment on Twitter a few months back; I can’t find the exact tweet, but the gist is that he thought it was okay. I don’t know if the others have weighed in on the subject or not. I’d be fascinated to know Nick’s reaction.

nick rhodes owns the name duran duran
According to no less of a source than Andy Warhol in his posthumously-published diaries, Nick is indeed the sole owner of the Duran Duran name.

cute mud girls
girls in bathing suits raised in the mud
ladies in mud
naked man getting straddled during massage
Blast it. My review of the “Girls On Film” video has opened the floodgates for massage- and mud wrestling-related search terms.

who does ioan gruffudd look like?
I’m going to go with… The Wire’s Dominic West, though your mileage may vary.

does ioan gruffudd speak in his native accent in the ringer?
Not quite. Andrew on Ringer is English, whereas Ioan Gruffudd is Welsh.

ioan gruffudd shows that men with big noses can be handsome
This is what’s known as a pitch-perfect backhanded compliment, folks.

mom wearing jeans outside
No reason she shouldn’t, is there?

nagel painting woman with sunglasses
Patrick Nagel did a whole slew of paintings of sexy sunglasses-wearing women, but I’m betting the one you’re looking for is this one, right? It’s titled, aptly, “Sunglasses.”

covert affairs jai's cologne
I’m far behind on my Covert Affairs viewing, so I don’t know if Jai’s cologne has been a focal point in recent episodes. I’ll speculate that his signature fragrance is something glamorous and expensive and wordly, with dark undertones and a faint yet lingering after-note of smugness.

sendhil amithab ramamurthy nude
I like the optimism of including the middle name: “Well, my search for ‘Sendhil Ramamurthy nude’ was a bust, but let’s throw in the ‘Amithab’ and see what comes up!”

who played nicky in death deceit & destiny aboard the orient express
That’d be the lovely Sendhil Amithab Ramamurthy.

why is jay wilcox in covert affairs black
Yeah, see, he’s… not. Jai Wilcox’s father is white and his mother is Indian. The Chicago-born actor who plays him, a certain Sendhil Amithab Ramamurthy, is of south Indian ancestry.

"morgan richter nude"
Huh. Well. I suppose I should just be thankful that this site is the first result for that particular search.

the best movie with thomas gibson
By a huge margin: Love and Human Remains.

what does i'm cereal mean, love and human remains
It’s mid-nineties jaded Canadian hipster-speak for “I’m serious.”

psycho beach party thomas gibson academy awards
Sadly, Gibson’s fine work as a domination-craving surfer in Psycho Beach Party went unrecognized by the Academy. He discusses this grievous oversight here.

voltron lassiter
lassiter voltron
You’re looking for my friend Alex Albrecht’s cool short film, which stars Timothy Omundson -- Psych’s Lassiter -- as a Voltron pilot.

jeanetta arnette shoe size
Sadly, not all information -- like, say, Jeannetta Arnette’s shoe size -- is available on the internet.

swinging married couples -- a good thing?
shirtless sailors drunk with black socks on
a childhood friend comes to spent time with now married friend and gets horny
only blind lady photos who are sitting in truck
adorable turkish guy sit on the stairs
haha im using the shaving creams
I’m throwing all of these searches onto the “unanswerable” pile, too.


Morgan Dodge said…
Sometimes I feel like some of the search results are backwards spam-bots or something. I just can't figure out to what end. Because elle, the artist, is just too strange.
A use of that search appears to only bring up Preppies. Digital gaslighting? Ghost in the machine? What the hell?

I feel like we should fan fic Elle up. Make a story around the non-story. So then it exists and there's a reason for that search to exist. Ah, but who to credit with the idea?

The keyword searches are my faves, by the way. I needed the good laugh today. Thank you.

Now to go google up "morgan richter nude." Ever so curious about the lower search results there.
DKoren said…
May I just say that is a stinking cute picture of Andy and Nick! Also, I just watched that video of Nick talking about his costume, and that is made of awesome. Thank you!

And do people really google such long things? Apparently so! Too funny.
Morgan Richter said…
Boy-Morgan: Curiously, yesterday after I posted this, the following search result showed up in Google Analytics: jim, an artist, finds an old canoe in woods behind his property. all of his neighbors consider it abandoned. jim cleans it, paints scenes on it depict. So it's Jim instead of Elle this time. It seems like some kind of standardized test question (LSATs, maybe?), but I'm flummoxed. I like your idea of creating an entire story around Elle and her scavenged canoe, just to give this search a clear reason to exist.

DKoren: That photo of Andy and Nick is on my shortlist of all-time favorite Duran Duran photos. (I scanned it from Duran Duran: The Book of Words (1984), which reprints all of Duran Duran's lyrics, annotated with comments from Simon, who waxes philosophical about how totally awesome his songs are. Comparisons to Shakespeare are raised. I love Simon.) Anyway, Nick and Andy look adorable in that photo. I want to create a whole television series around them, featuring fussy, flouncy, fancy fashion-plate Nick teaming up with tough, streetwise, hot-tempered, wisecracking Andy to solve mysteries and fight crime during the day and perform with their world-famous band at night. Every episode would end with a lively pop number.

Oh, lord, Nick in the Making of Arena video is kind of just the most awesome and bizarre thing ever. Nick was pretty much living off on his own strange, fabulous, hilarious planet from 1984-1985.
Cheryl Kraynak said…
Just catching up here. I want to comment on that Power Station on Miami Vice clip. I didn't have a VCR when that aired so I actually put a tape recorder up to the TV and got the audio onto a cassette. I still have that! I never forgot John's lines. But this is the first time I've seen the video in a long time. I have to wonder why Tubb's tie matches Crockett's pink shirt. I mean...really? Andy looks like the hell he described in his book.
Morgan Richter said…
Cheryl, when I was growing up in Spokane, the audio track of our local NBC affiliate would, for whatever reason, also be broadcast on an FM radio station. Like you, we didn't have a VCR, but I had a combo cassette player/radio, so I could directly record the audio track of NBC shows, Miami Vice included, directly onto cassette tape. I missed John's appearance when it originally aired, though.

In Pamela Des Barres's "Take Another Little Piece of My Heart," she has some cute stories about hanging out with John and Andy while they were filming this episode. (She describes John as "a ravishing slab of sheer trouble" and Andy as "a mischievous, flirtatious gnome").
Cheryl Kraynak said…
I wish I could get any TV show I want on radio if I'm in my car when it's on!
I think "mischivious, flirtatious gnome" is apropos.
Patrick said…
Hi Morgan,

Happy new year! Looking forward to more posts in 2012 - we just need to find a good show we can all follow. Am enjoying Once Upon A Time, loved Homeland (that would have made for good discussions) and watched the pilot of The Firm but wasn't convinced.

Was amused by the postings on the EW site - someone was delighted to have posted 'First!' leading to some abuse.
Morgan Richter said…
Hi, Patrick! Good to hear from you. Happy 2012. Yeah, I'm desperately searching for a great, addicting television show to write about. Life is too short to spend it recapping stuff in which I have zero emotional investment.

Ah, the glory days of "First!"-ings in the comments. How I miss them. We totally need to find the next Heroes, i.e. some show that generates lively discussion and rampant comment-section nonsense.
Patrick said…
I am very excited about Awake. It was rated the best pilot by those who saw a preview and the trailer looks v. good. Apparently they had to stop shooting for a while so the plots could be tightened, but no harm there.

It could be a good one to follow.

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