White Collar: Home Invasion

At the skating rink in Rockefeller Center, following an elaborate and unnecessary series of covert maneuvers involving pickpocketing origami lilies, Neal meets with an attractive young woman named Alex (Gloria Votsis), who appears to be his former accomplice, to ask her about the jewelry box Kate wants. She denies any knowledge of its current whereabouts, though Neal notes that she carries a decorative piece from the box at all times in her purse.

An insider trader whom Peter has been investigating, Aldys Gray, is shot and killed. The woman whom he was with at the time, Pierce Spellman (Sarah Carter), claims a gunman ambushed Gray and escaped out the window. When Neal investigates the crime scene, he determines that Pierce: a) has a forged drivers license, and b) is lying about what happened. Before they can arrest her, she gives the FBI the slip.

Peter lugs a bunch of suitcases into FBI headquarters, explaining that he’s temporarily adrift while the wiring gets upgraded in his home. Elizabeth is staying out of town with her family, but Peter is stuck at a cheap motel. Neal invites him to crash at his place instead, which is the premise for either:
a) a series of wacky Odd Couple-style arguments between fussy, meticulous Neal and sloppy, macho Peter, or:
b) about eight million slash fiction stories.

In Pierce’s purse, which was left at the crime scene, they find a list written in code. Neal uses a Scrabble board to try to crack it. Alex stops by his apartment, furious because she’s just uncovered his connection to the FBI. She accuses him of setting her up by asking about the jewelry box. Downplaying the situation, Neal insists, “I was forced Fed.” Heh. Neal, you’re adorable. Go have a cookie.

Peter’s motel room turns out to be sad, shabby, and occupied by someone else’s angry dog, so Peter decides to avail himself of Neal’s hospitality. He drops by while Alex is still there. Cheerily ignoring Neal’s silent pleas not to tell her the truth about himself, Peter informs her he’s an FBI agent. Alex storms out, but not before moving around Neal’s Scrabble tiles to read “FED.” Meanwhile, Peter makes himself at home by messing around with Neal’s chess set, watching sports, and sweating all over Neal’s exquisite furniture. Yep, they’re going the Odd Couple route.

In the morning, Neal wakes to find his landlady June and Peter having mimosas on the terrace. Hey, Neal wears silk pajamas! This is not a surprise, really. Neal is cranky and surly, perhaps unnecessarily, and gives every indication of already being fed up with his houseguest. (Peter says to June re: crabby Neal, “We should get him a banana or something.”)

At the office, Peter secretly asks Jones to run Alex’s fingerprints from the Scrabble tile she touched. Meanwhile, Neal and Peter crack the code and discover it’s a list of five names. Aldys Gray was the fourth name on the list. The first three men on the list won’t discuss Pierce, but clearly have had some unpleasant dealings with her. The final name turns out to be a chatty, eager trust fund kid /art collector named Dan Pierce, who develops an instant boy-crush on Neal. I like how they make it clear Neal is equally attractive and appealing to men and women, in a friendly and mostly nonsexual sort of way.

With Dan’s help, Peter and Neal discover that Pierce has been trying to steal a series of five fifteenth-century jade elephants. Pierce already has the first three from the first three men on her list, but she didn’t find Aldys Gray’s elephant, nor has she tried to steal Dan’s own elephant yet. Peter’s boss, Hughes, explains that the elephants are the property of the Japanese government and must be recovered to avert an international incident. How do you figure, Hughes? The elephants were apparently stolen decades ago, and the Japanese government has been cool with it thus far -- why would it become a big deal now?

Jones fills Peter in on Alex’s background: She’s a high-end fence with powerful connections, and thus no one Neal should be associating with. Meanwhile, Pierce tries to contact Dan through an online dating service (Dan updated his profile photo to one where he’s wearing a jaunty hat, just like Neal). Dan sets up the date, but Neal shows up to meet Pierce instead. Neal explains that, like her, he’s trying to locate all five elephants. He claims to have two -- Aldys Gray’s and Dan’s -- which he’d like to combine with her three. The elephants are worth vastly more as a complete set -- like Voltron! -- so he suggests they team up and split the profit. Pierce is sold on this idea… until Alex shows up unexpectedly to rant at Neal about how the FBI has been snooping into her background.

Pierce gets spooked and bolts. Neal chases her down, so she yells at a nearby group of men to save her from him. Peter arrives and rescues Neal from a bad beating, but Pierce escapes in the confusion.

Neal is furious with Peter for running Alex’s fingerprints behind his back, especially while staying as a guest in his home, while Peter, less justifiably, is furious with Neal for losing track of Pierce. They squabble, then Neal flounces off in a huff. When he arrives home, he finds a gun-toting Pierce in his living room, demanding that he take her to the remaining elephants. She orders him to remove the tracking device on his ankle. Neal obeys, but first he uses it to spell out “POWER” in Morse code.

Of course Neal knows Morse code. Hey, who doesn’t?

Peter gets Neal’s message and realizes it means he’s taking Pierce to Peter’s house, where the power has been disconnected during the wiring upgrade. Peter and the FBI arrive and storm the house, just as Pierce is preparing to kill Neal. Pierce gets arrested, the elephants get returned to the Japanese government (no international incident necessary! Phew!), and Neal makes arrangements for Peter to stay in a luxury hotel until his home repairs are completed. He’s even taken the liberty of packing Peter’s bags for him. Peter asks him, “Is this because I ran Alex’s prints?” Neal replies, “It’s for so many reasons, Peter.”

And Neal secretly meets with Alex again, who tells him she knows where the jewelry box is, but won’t tell him until he stops working with the FBI.