Friday Roundup

Been a while, huh? Sorry about that—it’s been a busy couple of weeks. I had a Very Important Houseguest, and then my Duranalysis book launched, and then I went to Seattle to search for an apartment (found one! A good one! But it was an uphill battle!), and… well, I’m back. Until I’m happily and successfully relocated in Seattle by the middle of May, though, things will be spotty and sporadic around here. 

Good trip to Seattle, though my sister and I spent much of it kind of stressed and unhappy that our apartment hunt was going so poorly. Yesterday, my sister sent me her carefully itemized notes of everything we did on the trip; it contains sentences like “Ate gas station burrito in hotel room” and “Had wine and peanut M&Ms from honor bar for dinner”, so, y’know, it was that kind of a visit. We did manage to squeeze in some good food as well, though, including excellent pho in our new neighborhood of Capitol Hill. And that gas station burrito was surprisingly tasty, really.

The Very Important Houseguest, by the way, was the great Sarah Kurchak, journalist extraordinaire, whose AV Club essay on Illya Kuryakin was what got me initially hooked on The Man From U.N.C.L.E. almost two years ago. It was awesome finally meeting Sarah in real life; we spent the week drinking champagne and hanging out on the couch watching U.N.C.L.E. episodes and awful/amazing old Robert Vaughn films. It was a blast.

On the subject of U.N.C.L.E…. I’m afraid another recapping hiatus is upon us while I figure out the correct course of action. See, I have about twenty episodes left to go, and I should just burn through them, but… many of them are terrible. Soul-crushingly bad. Awful. For the most part, the idea of watching them multiple times to come up with material for a recap makes me want to cry. Here’s what’s left:

Season One:

“The Vulcan Affair”—this is the pilot episode, and it isn’t bad at all. There’s a much longer version, shot in color and released under the title Solo, which I will no doubt someday get around to recapping.

“The Iowa Scuba Affair”—I remember literally nothing about this episode other than I didn’t like it. Illya does not appear in it.

“The Green Opal Affair”—Oh, yeah, this one is just awful.

“The Finny Foot Affair”—No Illya in this one, but I’ll get around to it at some point, because it’s not bad AND it has a cute performance from a wee little Kurt Russell.

“The Neptune Affair”—It’s got Illya in a Soviet Navy uniform? There’s not much else to recommend it.

“The Dove Affair”—Scripted by the great Robert Towne, with a cool guest performance by Ricardo Montalban. No Illya, but worth recapping.

“The Yellow Scarf Affair”—No Illya, and the story isn’t interesting enough to mitigate his loss.

Season Two:
“The Alexander the Greater Affair”—The two-part season premiere. Not at all bad. Lots of scenes where Napoleon and Illya look swanky and stylish in tuxedos.

“The Bridge of Lions Affair”—Another two-parter. This is an odd one. It’s based on a non-U.N.C.L.E. novel, Henry Slesar’s The Bridge of Lions, and thus great swaths of the plot have absolutely nothing to do with Illya or Napoleon. It is also very, very slow and stagnant. Still, I’ll get around to it someday. There’s a splendid sequence in a wine vat that compensates for a lot of tedium.

Season Three:

“The Galatea Affair”—a crossover with The Girl From U.N.C.L.E. Napoleon barely appears in this one; on the mission, Illya is paired up with GFU’s Mark Slate. Also, Joan Collins is in it. Doesn’t suck.

“The Deadly Smorgasbord Affair”—Oh, this one is just dreadful. No Illya, either.

“The Five Daughters Affair”—a two-parter that manages to be pretty god-awful despite the (brief) presence of Joan Crawford.

Season Four:

“The Test Tube Killer Affair”—Napoleon and Illya are sidelined by guest stars Christopher Jones and Lynn Loring.

“The J is for Judas Affair”—In which Napoleon and Illya are disgracefully bad at their jobs, but not in an entertaining way.

“The Prince of Darkness Affair”—A not-too-terrible, not-too-good two-parter. I have thus far shunned all the two-part episodes, apart from the wildly entertaining “Concrete Overcoat Affair,” because life is short and they take forever to recap.

“The Fiery Angel Affair”—I started rewatching this one a few weeks ago with the goal of recapping it and got so bored I had to turn it off.

“The Man From THRUSH Affair”—No Illya, but I don’t hate this one. Napoleon goes undercover in THRUSH and immediately whips the whole organization into better shape.

“The Survival School Affair”—The only episode in the entire series without any Napoleon. It does have a dewy young Richard Beymer running around, but that’s not enough to salvage it. Sarah and I tried watching it during her visit, and we sort of abandoned it halfway through and never returned to it. Due to my devout and passionate West Side Story love, though, it’s hard to say no to Richard Beymer.

“The Maze Affair”—THRUSH tricks Illya into bringing a bomb into U.N.C.L.E. headquarters. Both McCallum and Vaughn seem so grumpy and lifeless in this one that it makes it tough to watch.

“The Seven Wonders of the World Affair”—The absolute worst. I will never, ever spend any time rewatching this tedious and charmless two-part mess, much less recapping it.

The book launch is going well! Elisa Lorello, author of several novels plus the Duran Duran-centric memoir Friends of Mine, wrote a very warm and kind review of Duranalysis on her blog. Elisa and I did a book swap: I sent her Duranalysis, she sent me Friends of Mine. I’d been aware of Elisa and her book for a long time; I even bought it on Kindle several months ago, but had deliberately held off from reading it until I was all finished writing my book to avoid any chance of stylistic bleed. With the book done and out in the world, I finally had a chance to settle in with Friends of Mine. It was a joy to read: Elisa is a marvelous writer, with a very engaging style; her personality—funny, likable, smart—comes through on every page.

Here’s another lovely review of Duranalysis from my Twitter friend Georgette on her book review blog.

Duranalysis should now be available practically everywhere—if you’re not an Amazon fan, here’s the Barnes & Noble link, in case you’d prefer to order it from there.

Video to go into the weekend: Foreigner’s “That Was Yesterday,” because dammit, it tugs on my heartstrings every time (“But it’s not the end of my world, just a slight change in plans…”).

More soon.