Fun With Keywords: Cruel, Cruel Summer Edition

So, this whole “summer” business. It’s really going to stick around for another ten weeks, huh?

Awesome. Excuse me while I perspire in an unladylike and frankly disgusting matter. I’m going to go listen to some Bananarama until the world looks better. Fresh site content will arrive after I get myself all sorted out. In the meantime, here’s a fresh crop of search terms visitors have used to find this site in recent weeks:

jai wilcox shirts where
Someone’s probably just wondering where Sendhil Ramamurthy’s sexy character Jai buys his impeccably tailored shirts on Covert Affairs. However, I haven’t watched the past few episodes, so there’s always the tantalizing possibility they’ve introduced a new subplot where Jai’s shirts have mysteriously gone missing, forcing him to wander around Langley shirtless and confused. If this is indeed the case, I will happily start watching the show again.


sendhil ramamurthy sexy
And how!

covert affairs auggie sexy blind
Eh. Sure. Auggie is sexy and blind. I’ll agree to that. Granted, I’m a little less committed to Auggie’s sexiness than I am to Jai’s, but… sure. He’s sexy. And blind. Sexy blind Auggie.

what episode of miami vice is morgan freeman in
Was Morgan Freeman in a Miami Vice episode? On the one hand, it wouldn’t surprise me -- sooner or later, everybody showed up on that show -- but I don’t recall Freeman ever making an appearance (and trust me, I am well-versed in all matters pertaining to Miami Vice). Nor does it show up in his IMDB listing. Still, it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

adrianne palicki criminal minds stupid episode
Very stupid. Still, it’s not poor Adrianne’s fault she got stuck in the Most Wretched and Ill-Advised Criminal Minds Episode of All Time. She was fine; the episode was crap.

andy
Okay, I just Googled “Andy” and got over five hundred million results. I imagine this piddling little site is ranked very, very low on that list. Whoever sorted through all those results to get here, color me duly impressed by your diligence.

andy taylor the quotes from his biography wild boy
Here’s one, from his section on filming the video for “Save a Prayer”:


Special bonus! Just because that scene is too adorable not to reference again and again and again, here’s yet another shot of John and Nick boldly going where Andy feared to tread. Possibly homoerotic, definitely cute.


criminal minds episdode filmed in spokane
was any episodes of criminal minds filmed in spokane washington
Sadly, no. The two episodes that took place in Spokane -- “The Thirteenth Step” and “Open Season” -- were both filmed in the greater Los Angeles area.

why thomas gibson never appears in the dvd specials
The special features on the Criminal Minds DVDs, you mean? Yeah, I’ve noticed that, too. I don’t know why -- he commutes weekly to the Los Angeles set from his San Antonio home, so maybe he doesn’t have much free time to participate in the production of the DVD extras. Or maybe he doesn’t like talking about his work. No idea. For what it’s worth, he crops up in the blooper reels, at least.

thomas gibson mustache
You can check out Gibson’s unfortunate ‘stache in Far and Away.

the hardy boys 1990's seriers epidoe guide
The Canadian version, with Paul Popowich and Colin Gray? Aw, I liked that one. Didn’t last very long, but it was cute and fun. I don’t know where you’d be able to find an episode guide, and I don’t even think it’s been released on DVD. Sort of a shame -- I’d like to watch it again to see if it holds up.

new moon on monday video horses
It’s a horse-heavy video: The lightsaber-wielding soldiers (sigh) charge into the courtyard on horseback, while glamorous smugglers Nick and John transport their dangerous cargo into town in a horse-drawn carriage.

criminal minds heroes crossover
I was trying to think of actors who’ve appeared on both Heroes and Criminal Minds and stalled at Leonard Roberts and Robert Knepper, though I’m sure there are others. Then it occurred to me that the ghastly trainwreck that was Heroes is no longer taking up much space in my memory -- heck, I even had to look up Knepper, because I couldn’t quite remember his name. And that made me feel sort of grimly satisfied.

dodge cannibals hilltop catering-videos
Two words that should never be used in the same phrase: “cannibals” and “catering.”

i slept with thomas gibson
Er… congratulations?

jonny lee miller weird facial expressions
Marvelously weird. Here are a few choice ones, all from Trainspotting.


miami vice heart of night lyrics one day i'll find it's so nice someone thinks you're special treat them right
Joan Armatrading's "Dark Truths." Beautiful, ominous song. Great choice for that episode. Thanks for tipping me off to this one; I wasn't familiar with it, but now I've been listening to it all afternoon.

white collar makes me wanna go to new york
Oh, yeah. White Collar makes New York look shiny and dazzling. Hey, has White Collar been any good this season? Much as with Covert Affairs, I’ve dropped it from my regular viewing schedule, though I’m still downright fond of it. Back in May, I spotted Tim DeKay at LAX, and I have to say, I was a little star-struck.

spanking stories spankinglife.com
No first-hand experience here, but I’d hazard a guess that any website named “SpankingLife” would be an excellent place to find spanking stories.

who played the girl in hardy boys hong kong episode
Jean Marie Hon.

nick rhodes view to a kill
Gorgeous. Glamorous. Glorious. As hilariously over the top as Duran Duran’s resident magical pixie could be in the mid-1980s (I direct you once again to the awesome series of jaw-dropping wedding photos on his ex-wife’s website. The pink satin! The live flamingos!), he’s essentially ridicule-proof, simply because: a) Nick has never seemed to give a crap what anyone thinks of him, so there’s no earthly point in mocking him, and b) even at his strangest, he always looked fantastic.

please explain "wild boys" by burroughs
I couldn’t possibly. I don’t take nearly enough drugs to understand Burroughs. This site takes a valiant stab at a comprehensive explanation.

what was the first zombie music video duran duran
Duran Duran’s zombie-filled video for “Night Boat” was filmed in May 1982, which means it beat Michael Jackson’s zombie-filled video for “Thriller,” which was shot in October 1983, by a year and a half. I can’t definitively say “Night Boat” was the first music video to ever feature zombies, though that seems like a logical enough assumption.

duran duran nightboat video released before mtv
No. MTV launched in the summer of 1981. While the song “(Waiting for the) Night Boat” was on Duran Duran’s 1981 debut album, the video was shot in 1982. Anecdotal evidence suggests “Night Boat” received some airplay on MTV, though it remains one of the band’s lesser-known videos. Too bad -- it might be their very best.

what is the funniest criminal minds episode
Oh, man. Criminal Minds is not exactly chock full of laughs. Amidst the unrelentingly bleak subject matter, it does have some light moments -- I like the start of “Open Season,” where Prentiss, J.J. and Garcia cheerfully humiliate some schmuck who tries to impress them by posing as an FBI agent.

is nick rhodes the one with the headband in hungry like the wolf
While Nick wore his share of headbands throughout Duran Duran’s Golden Age of Video, lovely John Taylor is the one in with the headband (and minus the shirt) in “Hungry Like the Wolf.”

can chloroform be traced to a victim
Lordy. I’m going to assume (and hope) whoever entered this search phrase into Google is writing a mystery novel and thus is not actually plotting to chloroform someone. I’ll sleep better that way.

80's tv movie where to nerds get makeovers and pretend to be from europe
Student Exchange. Given my well-documented weakness for cheeseball films from the 1980s, I’m ashamed to admit I’ve never seen this.

about hardy boys the mystery of the blowing chunks
Funny. Very funny.

my darling archie said holding horatio close to his chest
Huh. Granted, I haven’t read all of C.S. Forester’s Hornblower novels, but I’ve definitely missed the one where Archie and Horatio indulge in a bit of canoodling.

not another teen movie banana in butt scene video
Here it is. This is a poignant cautionary tale about how early roles can come back and haunt young actors: No matter how many big-screen superheroes Chris Evans plays -- he’s been the Human Torch, he’ll be Captain America -- a certain section of viewers will forever know him as the banana-in-the-butt guy.

skulky the turtle wonder likes naked woman wrestling
This comes as no surprise.

preppies of the apocalypse always shine
Not always. The preppies are feeling a bit grubby and bedraggled and sad and not at all shiny these days. Or maybe that’s just me. But I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless.

Comments

Morgan Dodge said…
Why do I wish, so very badly, that I had been the one to search for "skulky the turtle wonder likes naked woman wrestling"? I bet Skulky didn't know that Duran Duran were in their Girls on Film video, either.
Morgan Richter said…
I bet Skulky didn't know that Duran Duran were in their Girls on Film video, either.

I bet you're right. I feel reasonably confident that Skulky is not a Duran Duran fan. Skulky's a cool turtle, but he and I part ways on several topics.
Lou said…
I love Bananarama.

Jai has branched out from snazzy shirts to an array of tight black tshirts of late. And last night did so whilst camply riding a dirt bike. I have no complaints about this.

I am however concerned what some people are Googling.
Morgan Richter said…
Lou, that's very promising news about Jai's tight black t-shirts and his dirt-bike action. The last episode I watched, he was acting a little inexplicably snitty toward Joan, which was fun and all, but I just couldn't get too excited about any of it.

I, too, am concerned about what people are Googling. And why they think my site might provide what they're looking for.
Dan said…
I, too, am concerned about what people are Googling. And why they think my site might provide what they're looking for.

But you're surely the leading authority on Skulky The Turtle Wonder! What other site would they go to?

Oh, you meant the other crazy searches. Yeah. They're odd.
Morgan Richter said…
But you're surely the leading authority on Skulky The Turtle Wonder! What other site would they go to?

According to a Google search for "Skulky the Turtle Wonder"? Your site. And some of those sketchy sites that strip off our content for their own nefarious purposes, sigh.

A Google Image search for "Skulky the Turtle Wonder," on the other hand, produces some fascinating results...
Dan said…
Weirdly, my Google search for "skulky the turtle wonder" results in this site having the top four hits. I guess this is Google's paternal way of making us both strive harder. Thanks, Papa G.

But the image search is wonderful. I defy anybody to reverse-engineer Skulky out of that collage.
Morgan Richter said…
But the image search is wonderful.

It's glorious. It's like our brains have melded together into a deliriously random sea of images! I'm a little disgruntled that I have to scroll down all the way to page 11 before Mookies make their first triumphant appearance, but nonetheless, there are a whole bunch of gems in there. Glad to see all those stills from late-era Heroes episodes where I willfully Photoshopped the inexplicably-absent Mohinder back into scenes are prominently represented. Some of my finest work.
Morgan Dodge said…
But what is that navel doing in there with the top image search results? I don't understand.

I defy anybody to reverse-engineer Skulky out of that collage.

If I actually had a spare minute to the day I'd be all over that. I think it needs to happen.

Glad to see all those stills from late-era Heroes episodes where I willfully Photoshopped the inexplicably-absent Mohinder back into scenes are prominently represented. Some of my finest work.

Wait, you did that? That's not just straight screen caps? Are you serious? I feel lied too! I thought everything I saw on the internet was true!?!?!
Morgan Richter said…
Wait, you did that? That's not just straight screen caps? Are you serious? I feel lied too! I thought everything I saw on the internet was true!?!?!

Ha ha, just kidding! Of course I didn't Photoshop Mohinder into any Heroes stills. There was no need to! He was adequately represented in that awesome final season!

...No. I can't keep that up. It's all a lie. Particularly my use of "awesome" in that last sentence.
Patrick said…
As Lou said last week's episode of Covert Affairs might be worth catching, for the bikes and shirts if nothing else. Was one of the better episodes, though painfully implausible. The attempts to do office/CIA politics is also pretty bad.

Amazed at these Google searches and how on earth they end up at your site. I will have to start trying to get to it from some crazy angles so that I am featured in a future list.
Morgan Richter said…
Patrick, since both you and Lou are at least sort of recommending it, I may have to go back and watch last week's Covert Affairs. See, since I moved to New York, I no longer have cable, and thus far only the first two episodes of the current season are available online (Hulu and USA Network's website). I can get them through Amazon On Demand for $1.99 per episode... but, while it's a lovely and fun show to watch when it's totally free, for some reason I'm balking at paying even a nominal fee for it. Still, the sight of Sendhil in a tight black t-shirt is surely worth at least $1.99.
Morgan Dodge said…
I've been liking Covert Affairs this season, but I didn't want to rub it in. I can forgive painfully implausible, so long as it isn't painfully dumb.
Morgan Richter said…
Cool. So the general Lou/Patrick/Boy-Morgan consensus seems to be that Covert Affairs has been at least worth a look lately. I might have to go back and pick up the last few episodes. Good to know.

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