Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fringe: Gray Matter

My new Fringe recap is up at TVgasm. More Leonard Nimoy! More exciting talk of the other universe! More of Olivia being awesome!

Fun With Keywords: Space Mutiny Edition

It's been slow around here, what with V, Flash Forward and Heroes all on their winter breaks. Here’s another look at some of the search terms used to find this site, courtesy of Google Analytics:

”space mutiny" "blood on the scales" "the oath"
I’m delighted that someone else noticed the similarities between Battlestar Galactica’s fourth-season mutiny plotline and the hooty low-budget masterpiece Space Mutiny (if you’ve missed the MST3K gang’s take on it, stick it in your Netflix queue -- it’s one of their very best efforts). Here’s a key difference, though: Space Mutiny made me howl with glee, whereas the BSG mutiny arc depressed me so much it made me stop watching BSG.

in case you're wondering, i will definitely hit a cripple
I know you will, Starbuck. And that’s the other reason I stopped watching BSG.

how to fix heroes
It wouldn’t take much, but they’ve got to put in the effort.

v is kind of lame
Yeah, it is. I mean, it’s not terminally lame. It’s just a little flat. Hopefully it’ll come back in March after a long winter break invigorated and full of fresh ideas, because it’s got some promise. But… yeah, lame.

flash forward too slow
Yeah. Again, not terminally so, but the show has faltered in recent weeks after such a promising start. Like V, though, it’s got an extra-long winter hiatus to get back on track.

did orlando bloom have a part in flash forward
flash forward episode 6 guy on bus
guy on bus looks like orlando bloom flashforward
…but was not Orlando Bloom. There’s been a lot of buzz about this, but some very helpful person debunked the Orlando Bloom rumor in the comment trail of one of my FF recaps, even going so far as to list the name of the Bloom-lookalike actor.

harry shum cute
You bet!

horatio hornblower midshipmen eat rats
See, they weren’t eating the rats in that first episode -- they just were playing a delightful game of catching them in their teeth and killing them without the use of hands, until Horatio caught them and threw the first of what would be many epic hissyfits over the course of the series. I love Hornblower.

how to act like edgar in heroes
Years of martial arts training and a cool accent.

if a man wears a beard does it mean he's secretive
Guys? Care to weigh in on this?

joe hardy haircut
Feathers! Long feathered bangs! Lots of Breck shampoo!

ali larter bath underwear
Dan? Is that you?

just when my coil is reaching the green line
Anyone who knows this reference without looking it up might be my soulmate.

throw sendhil from the train
death deceit and destiny aboard the orient express
Some of Richard Grieco’s finest work.

"shawn/raj" psych
I’d like to point out that this search term has been used to find this site fourteen times in the past thirty days. There is still no shawn/raj slash anywhere on this site (or possibly anywhere on the internet -- who knows?), but after all this interest, damned if I’m not starting to think seriously about writing some.

mohinder on psych accent
That’s his real accent. Chicago-born, Texas-bred

psych bollywood homicide raj actor
Eh, some guy with great hair and impeccable bone structure. Hey, speaking of Psych, I’m going to start recapping episodes here when it returns from its winter hiatus in January. And speaking of Raj, I’m going to be dropping recaps of Heroes when it returns from its winter hiatus in January. Call it the circle of life. I’m reserving the right to change my mind, however, if Heroes decides to get its act together and become watchable again.

mohinder's wardrobe
Awful, yet delightful. Mohinder: Making paisley look sexy since 2006.

no mohinder?
There is a universe of sorrow contained in this search term.

one life to live actress on flash forward
Jessica Tuck. I only know this because my mom always insisted I’d look great with her haircut, circa 1988. That was back when I had Denise Crosby’s haircut, circa the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

screenplay how to write chyrons
I just go with something along the lines of CHYRON: “ONE YEAR LATER”, left-justified, on its own line, space above and below. I don’t think that’s set in stone, though. As long as it’s clear in the context of your script that you’re inserting a chyron and as long as you specify the text, I don’t think you need to sweat the format.

skulky the turtle wonder and sylar road trip
Oh, sure. Unquestioned highlight of the season thus far. The part where Skulky double-crossed Sylar over waffles and chilaquiles at that Oklahoma truck stop? Poetry.

skulky the turtle wonder nothing can stop him now
True, so true.

skulky the turtle wonder vs mr muggles
The smart money is on Skulky. Muggles is all bark, no bite.

skulky the turtle wonder thinks morgan is awesome
Thank you, Skulky. The feeling is mutual

peter petrelli nailgun
Peter’s finest moment in all the current season. In all episodes from here until cancellation, Peter should tote around a nail gun so he can spontaneously nail people to the floor, whether it makes sense for his character or not, because that was pretty awesome.

then i'm gonna kill every single person even remotely involved
And that’d be Sylar’s finest moment in all the current season. I’m still waiting for you to make good on that promise, Sylar.

wales welsh film movie pavarotti "dying friend" opera
Very Annie Mary. Terrible film. Bane of my existence. Nice scenes of the Welsh countryside, though.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Thursday, December 3, 2009

FlashForward Episode Ten: A561984

So FlashForward was preempted last week (in the United States, at least -- Australia and the UK, it’s unseemly to gloat) because of Thanksgiving, and the last new episode that aired was kind of a filler-heavy dud. Hence, I’m feeling a little out of the FF loop right now. Luckily, tonight’s episode goes a long way toward getting me -- and the show in general -- back on course.

The mysterious woman (Shohreh Aghdashloo) who called Demetri to warn him of his murder watches A Christmas Carol from her sleek office with a panoramic view of the night skyline of Hong Kong. Taped to one of the windows is her very own flash forward-related evidence wall, which includes a photo of Demetri.

Mark and Demetri stride through the Hong Kong airport and compare notes on the mysterious woman. From her voice, they know she’s Iranian-born and educated in London. Mark’s phone rings incessantly, but he ignores it. A good-looking man in a suit approaches and tells Mark to answer the call, as it’s undoubtedly from his boss. The man introduces himself as Marshall Vogel, who is with the FBI legat -- legal attaché - to Hong Kong. Vogel knows the full story of why they’re in Hong Kong. He suggests they return home immediately to avoid getting fired. He’s kind of mean and smarmy. I like him. Mark finally answers his phone, and sure enough, it’s Stan, bawling him out for scurrying off to Hong Kong against his orders.

In Palo Alto, Gordon Myhill, the director of the National Linear Accelerator Project, addresses a large crowd of assembled reporters. He introduces Lloyd and Simon as assistant directors of the plasma wakefield program.

A visibly rattled Lloyd takes the microphone and explains that he and Simon were researching proton-driven plasma wakefield acceleration. They were conducting a particle acceleration experiment on the day of the blackouts… and at this, the audience erupts into chaos. Worldwide, everyone watches the live press conference in shock. Simon takes over from Lloyd and says the result was unforeseeable, but the crowd is not placated. A woman grabs a gun from a security guard and opens fire at the podium. Simon hustles Lloyd to safety and bawls him out for not being more circumspect about their involvement. Simon insists he doesn’t believe they were responsible.

Stan calls Janis into his office and asks her to track down Lloyd and Simon, who disappeared after the press conference. Through an improbable series of deductions, Janis connects Lloyd Simcoe to Olivia. She heads for the hospital to look for Lloyd.

Zoey (I’ve been spelling it “Zoe” thus far. IMDB insists I’ve been in error) leaves a message for Demetri’s parents inviting them to the wedding. She saw them in her flash forward, so she knows they have to attend. One of her lawyer cronies stops and confirms she’ll be attending the memorial for someone -- a fellow attorney, most likely -- named Joyce.

Demetri and Mark search for the woman in the general area where the call originated. Mark finds a Persian restaurant and suggests they investigate.

At the hospital, Bryce considers posting about Keiko on Mosaic, but doesn’t. Good. After the last episode, we’ve had quite enough of Bryce and Keiko for a while, thank you. Janis asks him for Lloyd Simcoe’s phone number, but he refuses to give it to her. Somehow, they drift off topic to how Janis can’t have a baby now, despite her flash forward. Bryce encourages her to try to get pregnant, which only sounds like a skeevy come-on.

While Stan watches talking heads on the news discuss how Lloyd and Simon are mass murderers, Simon waltzes casually into his office, in all his hobbitty splendor, and strikes up a conversation about how Stan really should put him on the FBI payroll. For all the fresh life he’s breathed into the show, they should just be paying Dominic Monaghan his weight in gold ingots on a weekly basis. Simon doesn’t believe he and Lloyd caused the blackouts, and he wants access to the Mosaic investigation files to find who’s really responsible. Stan seems bewildered, but sort of convinced by Simon.

Lloyd drops by the hospital to check on Dylan. Hasn’t Dylan been ready to leave the hospital for the last five episodes? Janis tells Lloyd the FBI is interested in talking to him, but doesn’t really push the subject.

At the Persian restaurant, Mark and Demetri play a recording of the mysterious woman’s voice for the restaurant owner, who claims to have no idea who she is. Mark sends Demetri outside, then threatens the Iranian owner with extradition and torture. Yuck. Yuck, yuck, yuck. Hey, Mark? This is why no one likes us anymore, you tool. This scene is alarmingly unsavory, and my mild dislike for Mark has evolved into white-hot hatred. The owner gives Mark the name of the woman: Nhadra Udaya.

Simon meets with Janis and Stan. They show him classified images of the site where the crows died in 1991 with the location obscured, but Simon, who is a sharp cookie, pegs it as Somalia instantly from the geographical clues. When he sees the strange tower, he identifies it as a specialized pulsed laser for a plasma afterburner, which he designed in 2002. He claims the technology to build it doesn’t exist yet. Janis breaks it to him that: a) he’s looking at a photograph, not a computer model, and b) the photo was taken in 1991. This blows Simon’s mind.

Stan and Janis show him a composite sketch of D. Gibbons and give him the rundown: From what they’ve been able to deduce, D. Gibbons is a reclusive chess-playing physicist who’s been hacking into computer systems. Simon offers to help track D. Gibbons down and “give his testicles a squeeze” for scooping him on his plasma afterburner idea.

Zoey sits in church at Joyce’s memorial. It dawns on her, suddenly, that she never saw Demetri in her flash forward -- it wasn’t their wedding on the beach, it was Demetri’s memorial service. Wow. That’s kind of a weird mistake to make.

Mark and Demetri locate Nhadra at a Chinese restaurant, where she’s surrounded by heavily-armed Chinese men. When she speaks to the men in Cantonese, they put away their weapons and let Mark and Demetri join them. Nhadra tells Demetri that his murderer is sitting at the table: It’s Mark. She reads off the serial number of the murder weapon -- A561984 -- and Mark confirms it’s his gun. Mark, still acting like a great big tool, kicks the table over and kidnaps Nhadra at gunpoint. There’s a big standoff, and then Marshall Vogel arrives and defuses the situation and is awesome.

Olivia offers to help Lloyd transfer Dylan to another hospital to keep him safe from the angry mob. She tells Lloyd he was brave to take responsibility for the blackout. She and Lloyd talk in veiled terms about how they could have totally fallen in love when Lloyd was attending Harvard in 1998, which is when Olivia was supposed to attend, except she couldn’t because of Mark’s job. Olivia is eight million times flirtier with Lloyd now that he’s confessed to being responsible for the deaths of millions. Go figure.

Vogel tries to whisk Mark and Demetri out of Hong Kong. Mark guesses that Vogel isn’t actually with the FBI, because a real FBI agent wouldn’t have let them make such a terrible embarrassing mess in Hong Kong in the first place. Vogel admits he’s CIA, then compares Mark to a flake of dandruff. Vogel is giving Simon some healthy competition for the title of best new character on this show. When Mark’s phone rings, it’s Stan, irate about his shenanigans. Stan tells Mark, “You succeeded in changing the future,” and fires his incompetent, imperialistic, utterly toolish ass. Excellent move, Stan. Can you now hire Vogel to replace Mark as Demetri’s partner?

Nhadra tells D. Gibbons she can’t protect him any longer.

Having belatedly realized Demetri’s family has been dodging her calls because they know their son is dead in the flash forwards, Zoey shows up at the Noh house and talks with Demetri’s mother. Zoey tells her she wants to change the future.

Just to remind everyone she's still on the show, Nicole gives Bryce a present: It’s a manekineko, to bring him good luck in love. Janis stops by and asks Bryce for tips on getting pregnant, explaining that she doesn’t care overly much for penises. Bryce gives her a good sperm bank referral.

Olivia and Lloyd oversee paramedics loading Dylan into the ambulance to transfer him to another hospital. Their demeanor strikes Olivia as suspicious, so she shouts for security. One of the paramedics pulls a gun and shoots the security guard. Lloyd begs them not to shoot Olivia. The paramedics order Lloyd to come with them, and they drive off in the ambulance, leaving Olivia and Dylan behind.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Fringe: August

My latest Fringe recap is finally up at TVgasm. Slowly but surely, I'm fighting down the holiday backlog of shows.